Wednesday, 6 April 2016

RELATIONSHIP: What To Do When You Feel Ignored

There were times when people loved me and I ended up ignoring them. There are also times when people I love ignored me right back. Sometimes I felt good and other times I felt the most miserable and foolish. :(

Let's talk about how to overcome the miserable feeling . . . 

What To Do When They Ignore You


The first thing you need to know is never to degrade yourself or lose your respect. Whether you are being given all the attention in the world or being ignored does not in any way change who you are.

Yeah, you are awesome. How do I know? Because you visit Heart Rays. You have read articles like 'Fall In Love With Yourself' and listened to 'Voice Of Truth' *winks*

Why You Are Being Ignored

Lemme first tell you why people might ignore you, or I should say why I might ignore someone. There are few possible reasons:
  • It was a casual friendship. And suddenly, you are becoming way too serious about it.
  • They have started to grow feelings for you. They are scared you might not like them the same way.
  • It might be their general behaviour. When they notice you are getting too close to them, it freaks them out and pushes them away.
  • Personally, when I notice some negative traits or red flags in your personality. I would talk to you about it, and if you refuse to improve on yourself, I'd ignore you because I don't want to be corrupted biko
  • They might not be aware that they are ignoring you or that you are worried they are not talking to you. 
  • They probably have other things to focus on and have got their mind too occupied (I have done that many times).
  • They are probably seeing someone.

Hmm . . . don't go assuming you know why they are ignoring you tho. Ask questions. Talk to them about it. Let out how you feel. Discuss facts. You can read about how to resolve issues here

The Reason Won’t Change Your Life

I said it before. I am saying it again. Whether people like you or not does not affect who you are.

For whatever reason they gave, don't push it. The harder you try to hold them close, the further they’re going to push you away.

Once you ask them, don't ask again. The more you ask them to know why they’re ignoring you, the more lighthearted or hurtful comments you might get.

Worse, they may even laugh and lie to your face! “What?! No, I’m not ignoring you! I’ve just been erm . . . busy . . . you know . . . ?!”

Can you ever feel more foolish?

Move on.



Now What Do You Do

Erm . . . I hope I am not sounding too proud (I've been accused of being proud. Lol). I simply enjoy helping out with the little I have discovered through life's journey. *innocent face*

Let me give you a little background of my story:


********
I was not very popular in school, I was shy and timid. I was ignored a lot as a child. I struggled with inferiority complex and low self-esteem. I grew up fighting back to get attention. I thrive for attention. I want a lot of it! When people ignore me, I feel miserable. . . sad. I hate it. 

I know that sometimes people can't always get back to you right away and things like that. I understand and I'm cool with that. And it's not like I want them to reply my every post or ping or anything like that. It's not that I want attention all the time. If someone (for example) doesn't want to talk, it's all fine to say "can't talk right now!"

But when someone that I know well is obviously deliberately ignoring me, I get anxiety attacks. I can't stand it, especially if I don't know what I did or said to upset the person. And it makes me really angry. 

Because I didn't want to be miserable everytime, I needed to find a way around it. So I did.

****** 

Are you being ignored? Are you feeling miserable and left out? I can tell you this is what you should do:

1. Accept the fact: Whatever might be the reason, don't be miserable about it. Do not be all clingy. Accept the fact with dignity with as much grace as you can. Blow their minds with the grace actually. Leave them alone and stay on your own lane. Smile at them if you happen to have an eye contact with them, but keep walking ahead. (if you are a lady, do the catwalk. Lol). Don't try talking to them whenever you get a chance. Make them believe that you are happy in your own world, without them. 

2. Love yourself: I have tried and tested it. You must love yourself if you want people to love you. See how wonderful and graceful you are. Not everybody is able to handle situations so nicely as you do. You are awesome. Be proud and know that you are lovable. Don't let anybody make you feel miserable. If not for anything else, for the fact that God killed his only son just for you! Such love.

3. Be mind blowing: Heart breaks are the most effective triggers to make people do great things. Do something special not to attract them but in general. Something to showcase your great, strong, wonderful self to the world. You have a lot of potential . . . use it . . . do something wonderful with it. Go about your business.

Related: How To Deal With HeartBreak

4. Look good everytime: Looking your best as much as you can will have an impact on more things you can imagine. The way you look is the reflection of your whole personality. There is no way you will not be noticed when you look good. Even if you are feeling like "just there" . . . always . . . always make a pretty picture. Don't wear the stress on your face. Smile, laugh and look awesome!

Yes, smile often. It doesn't matter if the smile is fake. Just don't frown. :)


5. Encourage Someone: I reserved the best for the last. Find somebody going through depression or lonliness, and speak words of encouragement to that person. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:14 (CEV); “Encourage anyone who feels left out, help all who are weak, and be patient with everyone.” Instead of looking inward and allowing neglect to eat away at you, turn outward and use God’s grace in your life to serve others. It’s ministry, it’s powerful, and it makes a difference. Doing this will not only change their lives, but yours as well.

So sweetie, stop being worried that you are being ignored. Shift your focus from those ignoring you and focus on GOD, YOU and YOUR PURPOSE (the dream). Let it also be a good opportunity for you to rediscover yourself. 

And on this journey of self-discovery, you might have them begging to be in your life again. My ex almost did but I wasn't interested any longer. Lol. You can read about it here

P.S. One of my best friends felt I was ignoring him when in actual fact, he was the one who ignored me for days. These tips are working for me big time. Lol.

Wishing you the best in your relationship. Cheers!

Question: When you are being ignored, do you ignore right back or fight to get back their attention? Let's discuss. 


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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Email: amakamedia@yahoo.com
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