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Dear Diary, I Am So Hungry For Love

The 30-Day Man Fast is a period where a woman stays away from men to focus on Jesus.

Sharing bits from my private diary . . .

Day 9: Only Him

I had a great encounter with God through His word. It was like when Jesus sat down next to the Samaritan woman by the well.

He initiated a conversation by addressing my deepest need: “Would you give me a drink?”

Lovingly, He steered the conversation through territory that explored the many ways I had tried to satisfy my own emptiness, including failed relationships, illicit pleasures, and empty religiosity.

"You don't miss Him. You only miss the idea of having someone in your life."

At about 6PM, I had a strong desire to pick up my phone and call someone. I wanted to hear something like "I miss you".

It's been days without talking to me, is he not missing me? Why hasn't he tried to call?

I actually told him bluntly that I needed to stay away from him. Now wondering where this feeling of wanting him to call came from. Let's blame the devil.

I started to think of a good reason to call him. Maybe asking him to help me out with a project would work. I picked up my phone but . . . I couldn't dial.

I fought the feeling. Oh I fought!

Calling him would be an act of disobedience as the fast demands that I do not call, text or care about any man for 30 days.

I started to cry. My soul cried out to God.

Fix me, Lord . . .
Fill me, Lord . . .
Fill me, Lord . . .

Let Your love fill this void in my heart.
Satisfy me, Jesus.

In moments like these, I sing out a song or listen to one that speaks to my spirit.

This time, it was Alvin Slaughter's 'Who Can Satisfy My Soul'.

Who can satisfy my soul, like You
Who on earth can comfort me and love me like You do
Who could ever be more faithful and true
I will trust in You, I will trust in You, my God

As I sang, He made a staggering offer:

"If you look to Me for satisfaction, you will find your deepest needs and longings met. Will you?"

I am now looking unto Jesus. Only Him can satisfy my deep hunger for love and attention. Only Him.

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So, how about you? Instead of seeking your satisfaction in stuff, in men and other ephemerals, will you turn your heart to Jesus and receive His eternally thirst-quenching, soul-satisfying gift of living water? 

Join me to experience the deep, genuine love and joy that has captured my heart like the woman at the well. :)

No man can do any better than Jesus!

Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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