Wednesday, 20 April 2016

RELATIONSHIP: How To Be Friends With The Opposite Sex Without Appearing To Be Chasing Them

If you ask me, I think women have become too friendly with men to the point that it has confused men. So with that, it is wise for us try to find the balance. How do you build friendships with the opposite sex without appearing like you're flirting with them?

Being Friends With The Opposite Sex


People usually say I’m friendly, but the truth is I’m more “selectively friendly“. I can easily make new friends . . . but that's only if I like you. I generally love people but I find it difficult to interact with people I don't like.

If I interact freely and deeply with anyone, it is because I really do find them interesting (and that they find me interesting too).

Have you ever been so friendly with the opposite sex that people started asking, "What's going on between two of you?". Hahaha. . . I have been interrogated on countless occasions.

Related: He Called My Mum His Mother-in-Law

There is usually the perception of a “relationship” when a man and a woman get talking, that’s just the nature of the world we live in. However, if you don’t want to give off wrong signals, then you might have to refrain from being a close talker, touchy-feely, or smiling too much while brushing back your hair (I hear that can be a sign. Lmho!).

Jesus (as human) was friends with the opposite sex. He maintained a cordial relationship with ladies as well as He did with guys. He was friendly with Mary, Martha, Mary Magdalene etc just the same way as He was with Lazarus.

So why shouldn't we? *rme*


Having a pure, honest and purposeful friendship with the opposite sex as Christians is attainable. It is just a matter of committing to prayer and creating boundaries.


  • Pray for God to give you grace to build healthy relationships with the opposite sex:

Yes. Pray.

If you would like to get married one day, building friendships with the opposite sex is very important. Don't pretend jhorr. Youknowahmsayin' *winks* Ask God to help you build relationships with the people HE wants you to have. Ask him to help you discern genuine behaviour, how much time to spend with them, talk on the phone/text, etc.

Please note, if you are seen alone with ANYONE for a long period of time, people are going to assume you are dating. It is what it is. So, in order to change their minds about this, you might have to tell them you are only friends (if they ask). I also encourage you being in smaller groups where others can see your friendship.


  • Set boundaries and pray about them

Yes, set boundaries. And pray to keep them.

It's not just how much time you are alone or on the phone but also the level (the depth of shared secrets and passion) of communication in your friendship. If you sense they are interested in something more, and you aren't (or the other way around) you need to talk about this.

Friends talk. That's even what I cherish most - the conversations. 

Friendship won't work if you don't talk to each other. If you meet someone that you think God wants you to know more, then pray for opportunities to hang out more. Always ensure that they know that you are seeking to build a friendship first, learning what that means.


Hey sweeties! I just want to encourage you to be open and friendly with people. Don't be exactly worried about the numbers of friendships, but the quality of friendships.

Always remember, great marriages come from great friendships. Your future partner is likely to be one of your friends right now. Are you doing it right? Just asking.

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.  
~ Proverbs 27:9.

Some of the keys to being friends with the opposite sex are sharing common interests, accepting them for who they are, giving them respect, building trust and listening actively.

One of the ways I have found to get over the awkwardness of meeting new people is to ask them questions. The more they talk the less you need to, and in the process you will discover whether to build a friendship with them or not.

Tbvh, guys in my world are pretty interesting and fun to befriend. Shout out to them.

P.S A special shout out to that boyfriend who has recently decided to address me as "guy". Lol. What an awkwardly awesome friendship we've got there. Chop knuckles babe!

Question: Who are more friendly and fun to be with - girlfriends or boyfriends?


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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