Monday, 24 December 2018

Life After "Honeymoon"

We have just had the most beautiful honeymoon vacation ever. As we walked into the living room, reality hit me. I cried. And cried some more. This is a house. Not a home yet. How do I make it a home? When will I start feeling at home here? Suddenly, I started to miss my mum, my dad and my two brothers.

I cried. . .

After Honeymoon


Maybe post-wedding blues are totally normal. Maybe this feeling is expected. After all the excitement of the wedding and honeymoon, it’s natural to feel a dip in mood.

I couldn't explain my flowing tears that night. I was just. . . down. Series of thoughts ran through my mind;

how can I stay excited in this marriage?
how can I continue to have adventures with my husband?
how can I be a great wife?
how do I start building a home?
how.  . .???
just how???

Then I decided to write a blog post. Some sort of note to myself. Like an advice for a young woman who is like me, newly married. . .

What You Feel Is Normal

You are transitioning. This is a normal and understandable process many people go through.Try not to focus on the fact that you're leaving your family and instead think about the one you're just starting life with. Your family is still a part of your life, but you just have to reinvent your relationship with them. 

Start looking to fun life transitions, like refreshing the rooms in your home together, or planning something fun, like a trip or a date. Remember though, there’s a line between having a positive outlook and always looking for the next best thing due to dissatisfaction. 

"contentment with godliness is great gain."
— 1 Timothy 6:6

Focus on the small things that bring you security, comfort, warmth and make you feel loved on a daily basis—that's what marriage is all about. 

Your Wedding Day Is Not The Best Day Of Your Life

Yeah, it's a nice day. Hopefully, it's an amazingly beautiful day. But it's sad to think that so many of us label that first day of being married as the best day of our lives. There are more days ahead of you. Plan together, talk and make effort to make the next day, next week, next year the best you've ever had.

Find out what you're both passionate about and do it together. Travel. Exercise. Write. Sing. Drink tea. Go to movies. Make your best days after the wedding. It shouldn't all be downhill after "I do." 

Who says we can't eventually reach "happily ever after"?

Don't Beat Yourself Up

Not every day will be perfect, or even good enough, and that has to be okay. Okay? Talk about the imperfections and the down points. Don't beat yourselves up. The old adage says marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. And some days will feel like an obstacle course where you have to carry your spouse up a mountain and through a pit of mud. Obsessing over whether you have a perfect marriage or whether you’re doing everything “right” are great ways to set yourself up for failure. Older women have said this over and over again, and they heeded the advice from older women too— their marriage mentors — to accept that they wouldn’t learn everything about how to be a wife in a day. It’s a process.

Marriage is a process.

Marriage Is A Process

It will be hard. Yeah, there will be a few challenges ahead. What great relationships haven't suffered their own pitfalls? But keep having each other's backs. Work through life together. You'll be much stronger for it.

It's for better or best, remember?

While many newlyweds are blissed out, others are hit with the post-wedding blues, and it can be debilitating. You don't have to suffer the blues. 

The most important thing is to not give up faith. You’re entering a new phase of your relationship, and with a little extra work, it’s sure to be SWEET. To be PERFECT. To be HEAVEN.
'The light shines in darkness, and the darkness has no dwelling place there."

I write to help people, whatever your current state, realize your deepest hopes for lifelong lasting love. With mutual commitment, best believe newlyweds—famous or not—can eventually reach "happily ever after".

Wedded in church, December 15, 2018

I'm only a week-old in marriage, I am still in my honeymoon phase. Post wedding blues is not of God. Therefore, I reject everything representing darkness in my mind now — be it fear, doubts, anxiety — in the name Jesus, Amen.

Hahaha. . . 

Thanks for reading.

How do you tell your spouse you are OK when the tears are flowing from your eyes? What's the best way to turn a house into a home quickly? 


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
Let's connect on Twitter: @Amakamedia
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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