Wednesday, 22 July 2015

How to Deal with Heartbreak

Somehow I feel my life is an experiment. I go through it, and share my lessons and discoveries. While some are pleasant, others aren't. As usual, I write from my heart. . .

How to Deal with Heartbreak


Are you heart broken? I know what's going on in your life right now, the feeling of emptiness, pain, anger and depression. You feel that you've lost someone who you thought was the best and the most special. (like in my case, the person was magical). You are not alone.

I was in a beautiful relationship with a man I loved like I'd never loved any other. But yes, like most relationships, the end was painful.

Dealing with a heart break is not that easy as it sounds. But I hope these tips help you just as they've helped me too. . .

1. Don't be afraid to cry: Going through a break-up can be really tough, and getting some of those raw emotions out can go a long way. It's OK to cry. I'm an advocate for tears. I believe it's a blessing to be able to cry. Just find a place where you can be alone, and cry. I cry into my pillow. Cry it all out because that is a healing process on its own.

2. Stop blaming yourself: If you were not guilty, I mean, if you gave it  your best shot but it still didn't work out, then it was never meant to be. If it was good enough for you, it would never have ended anyway. So brace up. Stop wishing you did or gave something more. You definitely deserve someone better.

3. Go through the experience: Life has a way of making us stronger and helping us overcome similar situations. Heartbreaks are just that experience, it will make you stronger. During heartbreak, some people try to avoid the pain and hurt themselves (that's the sad part). But you can go through it, use it positively and let it inspire you. It will do you more good if you chose to learn from it. If you don't, then no one can help you.


4. Get Busy: Getting busy worked a whole lot for me. I stopped worrying about the lost love and got my mind occupied with more writing and oral activities. If you were busy while in the relationship like I was, then it's time to get busier. Get up and do the things you like to do. Your relationship took a lot - emotionally, financially, physically, and most importantly, time invested into it. I'd like to think you sacrificed something. So now, just do all the things that you wanted to do for yourself and make up for the time. Channel your energy to creative and self-improving activities.

5. Love yourself: Heart break shouldn't stop you from loving yourself. I always preach self-love and it does not mean to be selfish. It means to pamper yourself, to make time for yourself, to look into the mirror and feel awesome. For real, you have to love yourself first before someone else does. Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of any because your broken heart is beclouding you, get your friends to remind you. You can also listen to A Letter I wrote to Myself.

••••••••••••••••••••••••
Here's the thing, Jerry broke up with me over text.
What can be more painful than that?! We had the most amazing relationship ever. (have a glimpse of the relationship here). But what isn't meant to be, isn't meant to be.
•••••••••••••••••••••••

5. Pray: The last but not the least, ask God to heal your broken heart. The Bible says in Psalms 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those that are crushed in the spirit." Ask God for strength and healing, He will give you the courage to go through this. God is very nice. Hopefully, I will share some things that happened when I decided to let God heal my broken heart next week. :)

So dearest Sweetheart, I know it's hard but you have to be patient with yourself and let the healing take place. Always remember, no one, I repeat no one in this world has the right to hurt you or make you feel inferior except you.

Move on with your life!
There's more living to do!

Have you ever been heart broken? How did you get over it? 


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
Follow on Twitter: @Amakamedia 
Email: amakamedia@yahoo.com

Heart Rays  . . .giving out the light.

29 comments:

XeeXee said...

Great article. Good to knw u re put back together. Have never in my life been heartbroken becos my heart is hard like a rock.

I just don't give away my heart like that
but one person got my heart now.

Guest said...

Brilliant words!!! Thank you so much for putting your heart into this writeup. God bless. The right man will find you soon.

Christy said...

Heartbreak is serious issue. Yes i've been heartbroken.I once dated a guy , it was for only 3 month and i was mad for him. At this point i had never experienced love before i was young and foolish with my heart and i fell almost instantly. Id be up ate hours just thinking about him and how happy i was. We ended up splitting because he lied about something. It was irreconcilable. I wished i coud just crawl under a rock and die just to stop the pain in my heart. It is truly an awfu experience.

I did alot of crying. I spent alot of time with my friends and going out and stopped dating as it didnt do anything for me, i found myself slowly getting over him and then i fell in love again, with a man who treats me like i should be treated and makes me feel special.

Adebayo Adegbite said...

Whao! You really broke it down. Amaka, sorry I just want to ask this; was Jerry your first love?

Dele said...

Hi Amaka! I just wanted to congratulate you on the great job you´re doing. Lovely blog you have here. TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. Be patient and endure all pain, because this too shall pass. Thanks for sharing your story!

Amole John said...

Wow. couldn't have said it better myself. You truly have a knack for writing, Amaka. Like you said, life is about being who we are, and learning to love that person. We love ourselves before we love others.

I am sorry you had to go through this heart break to learn this, but I am so very thankful you chose to share your new found wisdom. Thank God you didn't die. lol.

Amole John said...

That's great.

Chioma Dike said...

You're very strong. Thank you for sharing this .

Glowyshoe said...

I've not gone through heartbreak before and i pray i don't go thtough that.. Am happy you are coping just fine...i will strongly recommend no4&5 for anyone going tru dat phase

www.glowyshoe.blogspot.com

Gabbyspeaks said...

Heart breaks make you stronger, you know when you heal completely you will be grateful to God for the process. Am grateful to God a guy broke my heart, am in a better, more purposeful and loving relationship. Look beyond the hurt, smile at the future..

 SIGNS YOU'RE THE SIDE GUY

Erniesha Tibs said...

Get Busy ---------The MOST Important of them all...How are you mami?

Lawrence said...

Its so hard to forget whom you love, I am passing through hard time now and i dont know how i can overcome these. anyway i will try these terms to see how it works

Guest said...

Thanks for the article .. and the comments make me feel less isolated as heartbreak is universal.

Deborah Anyeasi said...

Yes been there done that. I was hurt in my last relationship and I was lost after it was over. But I got on my knees one night and cried out to my Lord and he put me at peace. I love the state in which I’m in now. Loving myself and feeling great.

munchyberry said...

It took me six months to actually cry over some dude that moved on with my friend. I held all that pain in and it was harder and more painful than the heartbreak itself. But then I went a step further to pray for strength to forgive. I refused to hate. I needed to be free. I must confess prayer did the magic.

Obiri Yaw said...

For me, Moving past a breakup was about me loving myself more. I just realized it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind me and move forward with your life and love. Life goes on.

Chikki said...

Hi Amaka,
My best friend of 6 years, boyfriend of over 4 and a half, and fiance for 2 just ended our relationship two days ago. Unlike a lot of people, I’m not bitter or angry. I’m outrageously sad and grieving for what I’ve lost, but I understand why it happened, and I know that it had to happen. We want two very different things out of life, and they’re just incompatible. He was trying to squeeze himself into the future I wanted for myself, and it just wasn’t fair. We ended the relationship with lots and lots of love, and no resentment or anger. That doesn’t make it any less difficult, though.
I’m putting this article as my homepage, so I see it every time I open up Chrome. It’s the only valuable thing I’ve read since Friday, and I think it’ll help a lot in the coming months.
We started out our relationship as best friends, and while we ended it as lovers, we hope that we can one day be friends again. We just make excellent friends.
Anyway, I doubt anyone will read this. But it felt good being able to type it out without crying. I’ve been doing enough of that this week, and I’m ready to try and fill that Freddy-shaped hole in my life with other things, like love for myself. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving Fred, and that’s okay. I just also need to make sure to focus that love on myself and leave room to love other people, too.

Thanks for all that you do. Your podcast heals.

Amole John said...

Hard guy.

Amakamedia said...

Awww. ... this is the most emotional words I've read today. Thanks for sharing your rays, sweet Chiki. I have read every comment that has come through this post, even if I don’t always reply. I always whisper a word of prayer. Thank you for sharing your story on Heart Rays. . . and I know you will get over this in time. Life can only get better. You will be fine, sweetie.

I love you, but God you more. *hugs*

Will send you an email soon. Stay strong.

Amakamedia said...

Oh Munchyberry, forgiveness sure unlocks our heart from the prison of the pain. You came out stronger. Glory to God.

Amakamedia said...

Hi Ernie! It's been quite a while. I'm fine. Thanks for checking.

Amakamedia said...

Lol. What if I told you I died and came back to life? jk

Amakamedia said...

He is one man I loved like I've loved before.

Amakamedia said...

Thanks for sharing, sweetie! After a heart break, it's an upgrade. You are a testimony. :)

Gloria Okaimam said...

You said it all dear. Some others feels they are not beautiful or good enough hence the breakup. NO a man that wants to leave you will leave irrespective of what you do or how you look..
We experience pain sometimes so that we can appreciate happiness. Love you sweetie.



Www.trendwithgloria.blogspot.com

Pamela Ugochi Orji said...

I couldn't move on for 3years after a heartbreak, couldn't date anyone else. I was a big mess. Part of it was Dat I tried fighting the tears and I kept blaming myself. D day I heard he got married, my dad broke and Dat was d day my healing started. I'm stronger now cos I didn't die den. Amy, believe me, it was worse.
So u see, self love urself, don't blame or feel guilty, and make sure u break Dat dam pretty early, cry it all out and f

Chioma Dike said...

Nothing is like prayer finally

bolateethole.blogspot.com said...

I never believed you dated Jerry, you guys just met recently abi am I wrong? This one you have is not heart break, thank God this happened at this stage not when you have gone far in the relationship. If you hear some stories eehn

E Rella said...

Sweetie if one does not go through heartbreak in life, then you should know you are outta this world. For me, just let the hurt go freely, let the tears flow and after everything, let a better and wiser you emerge.. one free of hate.

Rellanaija.blogspot.com

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