Wednesday, 3 February 2016

RELATIONSHIP: 5 Practical Ways To Abstain From Sex Before Marriage

Why Do I Keep Sinning? How Do I Stop having sex? How Do I Overcome the urge to sin? 

These are valid questions. No matter where you live, your age or your background, we will be tried and tested with sin in our lives. Living in a world full of sinful temptation even makes the battle for purity much tougher.

How To Avoid Fornication


It surprises me that the purity commandment is confusing to some people. I understand that it can be difficult to honour, but I don't see why it's so difficult to understand. I've had discussions on this topic with so many people - some of whom actually indicate that they are Christians. There really is a lot of confusion even in the church - so much that some people see nothing wrong with having sex before marriage. God help us.

Anyways, I'm not writing for those who do not understand that sex before marriage is a sin. I'm writing for those who not only understand, but are also pressing towards the mark of living in total obedience to God.

The world is getting darker. Everybody is doing it. But we are to stand out and shine as the light that we are.

I have decided not to quote so many scriptures in this article (the last person I spoke with said quoting scriptures didn't help), so I want to be as practical as I can.


1. Recognize it as a sin: The first step to avoiding sin is to recognize it. See it as sin, spell it out and call it by its name, f-o-r-n-i-c-a-t-i-o-n. Don't sugarcoat it. Don't funkify it. Spell it out and make a decision to overcome it. You cannot stop committing sin unless you have convinced yourself that it is wrong. To avoid fornication is not an individual thing, it is a commandment of God. (I promised not to quote scriptures. Ugh.)

2. Declare A War: To resist the temptation to commit fornication is actually a war. "War" is a powerful word, because lust is a powerful desire. God calls the struggle with sexual sins a "war." The Bible says in 1 Peter 2:11, "Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul." This is a battle you must win. You are fighting for your glorious future and destiny. Wrestle for purity! 

3. Keep Dating In Perspective: It's harder to overcome the desire to sin when you are so attached to a person you are in a relationship with, the Bible actually commands you to get married. If you are not ready to marry that person, then you are just using the relationship to serve your own rebellious lusts and it should be ended if it cannot be kept holy (as in dating without fornication). Break up before they break you.  Stay away from fornicators, whether they are Christians or not. Avoid them like a plague.

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4. Stop pornography: Pornography is an instrument of evil. Cut off all sensual and sexual media out of your life: movies, comic books, novels, articles, blogs, jokes, TV shows, sensual poetry, and music. Stop fantasizing and daydreaming about having sex. It will drain you and draw you deeper into sin. Feed your mind with God's Word instead.

5. Ask God For Help: When you find the temptations very challenging, call upon the name of Jesus Christ. Pray to God for help with that specific sin in your time of testing. You can be free from the bondage of sin. You can conquer lustful desires. You cannnot do it by your own effort tho, you need the help of the Holy Spirit. Ask Him. 

6. Repent: If you’ve committed fornication, the Lord can heal and restore your soul without a fault. All He needs you to do is renounce all affiliations with those you’ve joined yourself to. Confess, and repent of the sin of lust and fornication, and you can be made clean and new through the blood of Jesus. Read How To Overcome The Guilt Of Fornication.

God is the Creator of life, love, marriage, and sex. He knows what's best for you. He will give you the wonderful gift of marriage. Obeying His plan is always right and always blessed.

Purity is the standard. 

No one is perfect yet, we are all walking towards perfection. There are many other sins of which we need to rid ourselves, not just fornication. However, for many people, this is the sin that warrants the most concern.

Fornication is a sin against your body.
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies." 
~ 1 Corinthians 16:18-20

And like Daniel, I (hopefully you too) have purposed in my heart to please God in my body and in my spirit.
"But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself. . . "
~ Daniel 1:8

I hope this helps.

Please feel free to add to the list in the comment box below.


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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