Wednesday, 19 October 2016

RELATIONSHIP: How To Deal With Being Horny As A Christian Single

Lol. Yeah, we all get horny! It doesn't make any difference if you're a virgin or not. Our hormones do not care whether we are born again or not. They do not care whether we have the Holy Spirit in us or not. They do what they do . . . drive us crazy!

Dealing With Your Sex Drive


I am not supposed to say this, but I will: I told one of my boyfriends that I was horny. And he was beyond surprised, "you get horny too?"
Yes, honey. We get as horny as you guys do.

OK. Wait. Don't go wondering why I should be telling a guy this kind of thing. It's better to say it freely to be freed than hide it to be snared. I believe it is wiser to not resist the topic but instead, address it in a safe and constructive way that pleases God.

I think every (twenty-something) single or dating Christian has a sex drive. Some of us have really good self control, but I can guarantee, 99% of us have, or are struggling with sexual desire and don't know how to handle it.


On writing this article, I made a little research to find a general answer to the question: How do I deal with being horny?

The answer (perhaps responses) I got blew my mind. Some say masturbation is the way to go. Others say get someone who truly care about you to help you out.

Then I realized there is a debate even among Christians about whether masturbation is sin or not. Like really.

So I made another research to get a general answer to the question: Is masturbation a sin? 

The answer (perhaps responses) I got almost made my eyes pop out of their sockets. Some say masturbation was never mentioned in the Bible as sin. Others say we are commanded to love others like we love ourselves, so "why I can't I satisfy myself?"

Ah!


God calls me so many sweet names which I believe He calls you too, like Light, Salt, Sweetheart, Apple of My eyes, My bride, The Chosen, etc And now more than ever, he calls me My vessel. As a vessel, there are certain things I am not allowed to do if I hope to remain fit for the Master's use.

The MOST important requirement
for being a vessel unto honour is PURITY.

As far as I am concerned, masturbation is NOT A PURE activity.

I believe that masturbation cannot take place with a pure heart and mind. Along with the fact that lust often comes with fantasy of the mind, the act of masturbation can get hold of your mind and mess you up.

The real danger lies in the guilt that increases as your mind dwells in this world of fantasy.


It's just so sad that purity seems to have been watered down in our world today, but that doesn't (and will never) change the standard of God.

Far be it from me that I would claim to be all holy and righteous. I fall too. I meddle with impure thoughts and acts. However, I do not justify my actions by saying "everyone does it" or "I'm human".

Sweetie, Jesus was human too yet he sinned not. Why shouldn't we strive to become like Him?


Alrightie. I know I disgressed a little. We are not here to talk about masturbation, but to find a "solution" to our horniness. Right? So let's get to it.

How To Overcome The Urge

There is a page in my private diary where I poured out my heart to God, asking Him for help to overcome the temptation to sin. 

I was in a season where my hormones were driving me crazy sillily, and I desperately needed help.

God gave me a word. And that is what I want to share with you today. You don't have to agree with me.

Here is the SOLUTION:

"Walk in the spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." 
(Galatians 5:16)

Sounds so simple. But . . . it is a lot of work.

God deals with us differently. I wouldn't want to bore you with the details of what He has been doing IN me. How you deal with your sexual drive is dependent on your love for God and His relationship with you.

You’ve got to discover the vision for WHY you would pass up on instant gratification, and push through pain: what do you, personally, have to lose? This is a question that you need to answer, genuinely, in your own heart.

If I can testify to anything, it's that I found God's glory to be greater than my sexual drive. I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

What one promise or treasure can you apply to your own fight for purity?

One thing I know for sure is that when you are a vessel God has ordained to be used for His glory, He will break you and remould you no matter how much damage sin must have done on you. 

Are you struggling? Ask God to help you. Pour out your heart to Him in sincerity and brokenness. Trust me, He'd fix you. 

Walking in the spirit is a daily affair. (maybe  we should talk about that some other time.)

Be Conscious.

Are you like, "Amaka, I've prayed and I'm still horny." Lol. I understand.

Let’s break this down: Being conscious of what triggers your sex drive or stimulates you will work. 

What are you watching (movies, TV shows, commercials, Facebook, blogs, etc.)?
What are you listening to (music, radio, talk shows, podcasts, etc.)?
What types of people do you surround yourself with and what things do you discuss? Are these people life giving? Are they cheering you on and encouraging you to go after your God-given purpose and dreams? Do you talk about edifying things or things that take you down a dark road?

With sexual perversity all around us it can be quite easy to be sexually stimulated, so just BE CONSCIOUS of what you are feeding your body, soul, and spirit.

READ: What To Look Out For In Your Relationship

The truth is we cannot stop being sexual beings.

Sexual drive is part of being human. Sex was designed by God to be enjoyed only in a holy matrimony.

For many, masturbation is not an option simply because it could or has led to addiction. It is not an option for some of us, because it is TOTALLY a sin. We cannot reconcile our hearts to God while having that practice in our lives. There I go talking about masturbation again, sorry.

Lemme conclude with this: Whatever has the potential to destroy your life (that controls your mind into an addiction) and hinders your fellowship with God is SIN.

Are you with a pure mind and a heart eagerly seeking the presence of God?


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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