Letter to My Baby Boy Long Before He was Born

“Things in the past. Things yet unseen. Wishes and dreams. All of my hopes. And all of my plans. My heart and my hands are lifted to You.”

Letter to My Son

✍🏽

Son,

Sometimes, I wonder what it will be like to hold you and just stare at you for hours. I even wonder if l’d still look pretty carrying you in my womb before then. I know I'll be different when you come along. I am too excited about you.

Yesterday, I was daydreaming and wondering what you will look like. Maybe you'll be chubby. Maybe you'll have full hair. Maybe you'll be dark and tall. Maybe you'll like to sing. Maybe you'll like to write. Either way—you are going to be a very smart guy.l just know it.

It is my desire to raise sons, whose sisters, wives and children would be proud of. It is my desire to be called blessed for your sake.

You are a blessing. Not just to me, but also to your dad, the family, the church and to the world.

Overview: He Wasn't My Husband Written By Nwamaka Onyekachi

My book hasn't broken the Internet yet. Until then, we have to keep talking about it. They call it "promotion." 😁

Without shame, I am pleading with those who had read/currently reading the book to write a review on their social media platforms using the hashtag #HeWasntMyHusband. I'd really appreciate it. Or, you can send your reviews to hewasntmyhusband@gmail.com.

Many have walked up to me and say things like: "your book is amazing!" 
"I couldn't put it down until I read the last page!"
"Amaka, I applaud your courage to write this!"
"I learnt so much from your book. I am even taking notes."
"I would have to read it again. There is so much to take in!"
"I can relate so well with your story."

Some have turned these spontaneous moments of sharing their thoughts about the book into a talkshow and it's been so freaking exciting (and frightening) to know that this baby is fulfilling its purpose.

OK. Can you now help me tell someone else to tell someone else about it, pleaseeeeeee?

If you are like my cousin who claims she has no writing talent, then you can copy the press release below (shaded words) to paste on your blog, Facebook/Twitter/IG timelines etc. Thank you so so much!

HWMH: Photos From My Very First Book Launch Party

I’m posting this three weeks after having a thrill celebrating the launch of my book with friends and family. It was a lovely, happy weekend and I still feel like I’m flying! 🦋

*WARNING: This post might be VERY looong!

Pictures From My (First) Book Launch Party

Self-Publishing my book has been quite an emotional experience. I put a lot of myself into it, working long hours through the editorial and cover design process, and then promoting it ahead of the launch and in the days after its public presentation. I hadn’t realised just how much energy I was using, but it definitely caught up with me and after the initial buzz of publication wore off, I felt really drained.

The launch just needed to happen. I wasn’t sure how it would work out, but I'm glad it was lovely. Thank God I reached out to a cool photographer to help capture faces, poses and moments. It was motivating to see a few friends, family and more come out to support me.

I’m grateful to everyone who helped make the day happen and those who showed up. I want to share some pictures with you (as well as to save them here). Enjoy!

It Takes Courage To Be Vulnerable

Happy New Week! This is something I really need to hear at this time. "Be of good courage, Amaka!" I thought you might also find it helpful.

It Takes Courage

My recently launched book was reviewed by a friend (Chiamaka Uwadoka) who is a qualified lawyer and a Brand and Communications Executive at a reputable oil and gas firm. In her speech, she repeatedly made it clear that the author of 'He Wasn't My Husband' was a brave person. And I didn't believe her because I think I am not the very least brave woman I know.

When she said the author was vulnerable, I totally agreed.
Calling me brave? No, I don't think so.

Perhaps accepting my vulnerability is what she calls bravery.

Vulnerability is possibly an act of bravery because you merge with your authentic self, instead of hiding behind a facade to appease others.

You’ve been hurt. Yes, we all have. But loving from a place of hurt isn’t loving. It’s hiding. And you will never hit the high notes of love you’re searching for if you’re hiding.

Don’t give yourself any other choice. Be fearless. Be vulnerable. Show yourself. Put yourself out there, completely. Eyes closed. Arms open.

Yay! I have Birthed My First Book

So. . .yeah! I wrote a book. As if the title of this post didn't tell you enough. I wrote a whole book! Oh my! Everything that has led up to this moment, and everything that’s yet to come has left me completely in awe. I can't believe it!

I Present To You 'He Wasn't My Husband'

Clap. Clap. Clap.

I can't stop thinking about how impossible it is to have my name and face on a book cover. I dreamt of this. Yes, I did! And I am not sure about what to do now because I am too excited.

First, I was scared. I was scared about writing. Who will read it? I had no idea how to write a book. I wasn’t confident that my story would be interesting, or worse, that anyone would read it. Exposure was also a great fear. I kept worrying over what will my mum think? What will my friends say? Thankfully, I overcame that phase.

Relationships That Don't Lead To Marriage Become Lessons

Is it painful to end a relationship? Yes, of course. It’s never easy to break up with someone, especially with the one you have grown quite close to and pictured the future with. But I’m convinced it is even much less painful than spending the rest of your life being miserable in a marriage.

He Was Your Life-Lessons

Image By: Ogamars Creatives

I dated many cute guys. Some of them in my mind and most of them in real life.

They were not all bad guys. In fact, most of them had many good qualities. We genuinely cared about each other and had fun together. But in each relationship, there were things that didn’t feel quite right.

In some relationships, I found myself compromising some of my values to match with that guy’s. In other relationships, I began to think that some of the things I had wanted in a husband were perhaps more wishful thinking than things that could actually be.

Do nice, sensitive, funny, godly men still exist? I would ask myself.

Dear Diary, This Is A Husband Appreciation Entry

I'll be celebrating six months in marriage in 1,2,3,4 days. I thought it'll be fun to appreciate my husband in my diary. I don't do it enough.

To My Husband

I prayed and talked about my Future Husband for a long time. See here, here, there and there. Little did I know that you had existed in my past and were already in my present. If I had known you were the one God had instructed me to do that 21-Day Public Prayer and Fasting for ehn, I probably wouldn't have prayed with such passion and zeal. Lol.

Kachi, you are my answered prayer. You are the man of my dreams. Not just that, you are the man who has slain the dragons in my nightmares. You have exceeded my dreams, brought to life a man my dreams didn’t know existed.

That Moment The Past Starts To Make Sense

You never know exactly when that moment is going to come; the one that finally helps you make sense of things that happened in the past. But it always come.

And when it comes, you'll know.

The Making Sense Movement

If you’ve ever experienced an extremely stressful, sad or disturbing event that left you feeling helpless and emotionally drained, you may have been traumatised.

Ouch.

Trauma is a heavy word. I know right.

Most of us would never use the word trauma when telling our story.

We'd rather associate trauma with natural disaster, disease, war, loss or other extreme acts of violence.

Anticipate! HWMH Is Coming!

As my birthday draws near, I find myself reflecting on life — the laughs, the love and the memories. 

#HWMH Is Coming Soon

I am a memory keeper. 

I have always been a memory keeper. I record real stories through pictures and words and I LOVE it! I love it so much that it has become a part of my job.

We all love to reminisce. That’s part of life. And as long as we keep moving forward, we realize how important it is to look back with laughter and happiness at the great blessings in our lives.

STYLE: The People In Your Picture

Hi Sweethearts of my blogosphere! It's been a minute. How have you been? How is it going? I'm doing fine myself. Hopped in to say hi and thank you for being here. :)

People In The Picture

My intention is to share another inspiration of 'what I wore' but something else seems to be happening to this post. In the course of taking personal pictures for today's 'Sunday-Style' post, the location was hijacked by some Boko Haram, yes the bombers showed up (please take the pun likely, lol).

I see my script changing. . .

Well, this story has to change because there are other people in the picture. I am not the only one in it.

So, the hard truth hit me badly:

It is not about you.

What I Wore: The Truth About How Long It Takes

Hi sweethearts of my blogosphere! Happy New Month! Glad we made it into the second half of the year. Thankful for life and everything else.

It's Style-Sunday!

Long Ankara Skirt

Like I told you here, I am writing a book. For now we'd call it #HWMH. And writing HWMH has not been easy.

Writing a book, a fictitious story about your life in a way that will interest anyone other than your mother is not a joke. In fact, “this happened to me” and “here’s what I think” posts can be boring if care is not taken. . .and can even make you appear as a narcissist.

But then a blogger like yours truly comes along and hopefully wishes to eloquently share her own personal story about her thoughts and life — style, career, relationship, everything. Only she’s not writing in retrospect, with the insight of knowing how her story will end. Instead, she’s telling this tale as it unfolds.