RELATIONSHIP: How Do You Know a Christian Brother is Serious About You?

Lol. Let me be very honest. There is no way to know these days; you literally need God. That was my immediate response to a mentee who asked how to know if a Christian brother is serious about her. As I thought about it a bit more, I realized that writing this article could help many more who are navigating the complexities of Christian relationships. 

I live for this kind of conversation. I mean, I wrote a whole book on how I got into some of these situations too. 

Is He Serious About You?

🦋

The struggle is reealllll. It’s tough out here. Figuring out if a Christian brother is genuinely serious about you can feel like navigating a maze. In a world filled with imposters, charmers, and those who are just passing time, how can you tell who’s serious about walking this journey of life with you?

First of all, I want to say congratulations on reaching this point where you start to consider whether this brother is really worth staying with. You are very blessed and mature enough to recognize that this is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make in life. 

Now, let’s get to how you can discern if a Christian brother is genuinely serious about you:

1. He Prioritizes Prayer and Spiritual Growth

A serious Christian brother will consistently prioritize prayer, not just for himself but for the relationship. If he regularly seeks God’s guidance for both his life and your relationship, it’s a strong indication of his commitment. His desire for spiritual growth will reflect in how he supports and encourages you on your journey too. Regular prayer together and spiritual discussions reflect his commitment to building a faith-based relationship.

You should also pray harder on your own; ask God to reveal his true intentions. Seek confirmation from Him. Remember, the Holy Spirit can give you insights that are beyond what the eyes can see and the heart can feel.

2. He Values Your Principles and Boundaries

He is NOT after sex. Yes, let me put it out plainly. The one who is serious respects your body, boundaries and values. He will be attentive to your convictions and will seek to align his actions with your shared beliefs. His respect for your values will be evident in how he interacts with you.

Watch his actions, not just his words. Consistency is key. A serious Christian brother doesn’t just talk the talk—he walks the walk. If his values are more about personal pleasure or worldly pursuits while yours are about serving God, you’re bound to clash. Be with someone who values his relationship with God even more than you do. 

How To Rekindle Romance After Having A Baby

On Heart Rays, we don’t do boring relationships. Having a fun-filled and enjoyable marriage is a MAJOR goal. If you are not intentional, you may get swept up in the intensity and demands of new parenthood that you forget about being a couple. Rekindling romance after having a baby is not a popular topic but it is very common. 

Let’s talk. 

Romance After Baby

In the beginning, it was just me and Kachi. We do anything we want and go anywhere we want. We were spontaneous and adventurous. (See our honeymoon adventures here). I could step out for 24 hours without holding a bag. Kachi and I could stay up all night talking, watching movies and building on our intimacy. 

We had some pillars of a great relationship: good communication, trust, physical affection, a good sex life, emotional support, shared interests, mutual respect in the relationship, and time spent together having fun.

Then a baby happened! (Meet our beautiful baby here 😊 ) 

As we started to find our parenting groove, we realized that our intimacy was starting to shake a bit. Thank God for the Spirit of discernment! 

Below are some tips on how to bring the passion back post-baby, straight from the heart: 

Igbo and Yoruba: Truth About Inter-Tribal Marriage in Nigeria

I will be doing myself a disservice if I do not post the first few episodes of the MACH Show on Heart Rays. I am not going to lie; since the lockdown, 75% of the time I get to be online is spent on PerfectMachForeverTV. I am so thrilled about the vision and I am doing all I can to steer this fragile birthing phase. I hope you understand.

Can you marry from another tribe? In the third episode of the MACH SHOW, we are exposing the realities of an intertribal marriage in Nigeria. Grab some popcorn because. . . hmm!

When I'm not here, I am on YouTube. I go where the Spirit leads.

SUBSCRIBE To PerfectMachForever TV 

Have a great day.

Stay inspired.

Stay positive.

Stay safe.

Posted by Nwamaka Onyekachi

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Heart Rays . . . giving light

MUSIC: Kachi CG — Just For You

Hi Sweets! Happy Valentine's Day! How is it going for you? It's all lovely here. I just popped in to show you this music video; it is my all time favourite love song. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

The lyrics of this song come from a heart that has been swept away by a love that’s deeper than anything you could have never imagined.

DIARY: The Way He Looks At Me

From birth to death and all occasions in between, the eyes will always have it. Eye contact is the strongest form of nonverbal communication, and if your partner constantly does it with you! Oh, my!

Keep Looking, Baby

I've had my share of failed relationships and I believe I'm in a better place now. A place where I can recognize genuine love and intention when I see it. It's in the eyes.

Generally speaking, we are all naturally attracted to faces, especially eyes. The human face is associated with our identity; we are recognized more through our eyes than through any other facial feature. That's why your passport photograph in an identity card is enough proof for the person(s) concerned.

When you meet someone for the first time and you fall in love with them or like them instantly, what do you attribute that likeness to? It's the face! You are actually attracted by the person's face, especially the eyes. The eye is where the attraction begins.

You can't seem to take your eyes off the one you love.

Dear Diary, This Is A Husband Appreciation Entry

I'll be celebrating six months in marriage in 1,2,3,4 days. I thought it'll be fun to appreciate my husband in my diary. I don't do it enough.

To My Husband

I prayed and talked about my Future Husband for a long time. See here, here, there and there. Little did I know that you had existed in my past and were already in my present. If I had known you were the one God had instructed me to do that 21-Day Public Prayer and Fasting for ehn, I probably wouldn't have prayed with such passion and zeal. Lol.

Kachi, you are my answered prayer. You are the man of my dreams. Not just that, you are the man who has slain the dragons in my nightmares. You have exceeded my dreams, brought to life a man my dreams didn’t know existed.

8 Unusual Tips For The Perfect Honeymoon

The Monday following our Wedding, my husband and I left Lagos, Nigeria (the bubbly city where we live) to celebrate our wedded bliss. It was the trip of a lifetime — the first long, exotic trip we'd ever taken alone together.

With great pleasure I am going to give you insider tips for planning a great honeymoon vacation without going in debt.

Perfect Honeymoon Tips

You just got married! Now what? Go on your most-deserved post wedding vacation. The honeymoon will allow you some much needed time to rest, recoup and process what just happened.

Don’t conform to what you think a honeymoon should be – take time to really consider what makes you happy and what you really want to see or do while away. Just because somebody else’s honeymoon was perfect for them, doesn’t mean it will be perfect for you. Go gently.

These are my top seven tips to guide you on discovering what's perfect for you:

#1

Be Specific About What You Want

Talk with your beloved about what your vision is for the honeymoon, and ask your beloved to share theirs. What are your top three priorities? Spa, gym and sports? Or cultural sights and traditional cuisine? Or tour sites and travel rides? Beaches and waterfalls? Two of you should make a list —and highlight the similarities. Your top choices should be reflected in the destination you choose.

Even though I had a memorable wedding ceremony, I wanted a more memorable honeymoon. M-E-M-O-R-A-B-L-E was our keyword, so we went all out for that.

DIARY: "What Would You Like Your Husband To Call You?"

If you want to know the latest gist about my day (or even my life), check out my tweets. I give myself away on Twitter twice as much as I do on the blog.

This diary entry actually happened last Tuesday and those who follow me on Twitter already has the gist, but I think it should be shared on the blog too. It just might be an open letter to future hubby. Lol.

What I Want My Husband To Call Me

Today, there was so much work to do at the office, and a tight deadline to keep up with. I had to stay back for two extra hours to complete a task. Phew.

It wasn't just me tho. A few of my colleagues too.

So we left the office later than usual. Then, our GM (who we fondly call FatherLa) kindly offered to give us a ride to the bus-stop. We excitedly hopped in.

On Being Saved, Sound And Sexy

Hi sweethearts. Today I'm excited to share this piece of my heart with you. I'm in a place with God that allows me a greater measure of freedom to express myself.

Saved, Sound, And Sexy

This article is to encourage you to declare who you are in Christ. The enemy has no power when you know the God you serve and who you are in Him. Do you know who you are? As in, do you really really understand what you know?

Well, I don't know so much about myself. I am on this blogging journey to discover the who and the what about me. Here are three things I now understand . . .

Issa Sexy September

Don't be like "eww! She's so carnal!". Sexy is a spiritual word. Get over it. Lol. Yes, I am using the S-word this month. The Bible is filled with sex and romance. Go read Songs of Solomon before you argue.

God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life tho. (1 Thessalonians 4:7)

Happy Sexy September

As I navigate my journey with God, He gives me a Word for each year, each month, each week, each day. Even though sometimes I miss it, the Word never returns void.

RELATIONSHIP: What Do You Do When Someone Lies To You?

I’d just discovered a friend lied to me. It was about something senseless, which only made it worse. As days go by, I wrestled through troubling thoughts. Why would he lie about THAT? Were we ever really friends?

It's Love-Wednesday! Let's talk.

When Your Friend Lied

I tend to totally trust people from the first minute I meet them, meaning that people can only lose my trust. This doesn't mean that anybody I get to know immediately becomes my friend; it simply means that I have no prejudice towards them about the possibility of being friends with them.

So, this article is going to cover both friends, bae's and acquaintances. What we do when we discover that people we trust lied to us?

Top 5 Relationship Goals We Should Strive For

Relationship is not about hugging and kissing and caring about someone who says they love you. Romantic relationship (the way God designed it to be) is being in love with someone who loves you as much as Jesus does. Oh, yeah!

"cute" isn't the goal.

Relationship Goals

Sometimes it’s hard to know what is required. There are so many pictures of couples doing really cute, funny things together with the caption “relationship goals”. While the idea of holding hands, doing funny things and awkward poses is cute and sweet, it’s not exactly what we should be looking out for on having real relationships.

RELATIONSHIP: What To Do When You Feel Ignored

There were times when people loved me and I ended up ignoring them. There are also times when people I love ignored me right back. Sometimes I felt good and other times I felt the most miserable and foolish. :(

Let's talk about how to overcome the miserable feeling . . . 

What To Do When They Ignore You

The first thing you need to know is never to degrade yourself or lose your respect. Whether you are being given all the attention in the world or being ignored does not in any way change who you are.

RELATIONSHIP: 5 Practical Ways To Abstain From Sex Before Marriage

Why Do I Keep Sinning? How Do I Stop having sex? How Do I Overcome the urge to sin? 

These are valid questions. No matter where you live, your age or your background, we will be tried and tested with sin in our lives. Living in a world full of sinful temptation even makes the battle for purity much tougher.

How To Avoid Fornication

It surprises me that the purity commandment is confusing to some people. I understand that it can be difficult to honour, but I don't see why it's so difficult to understand. I've had discussions on this topic with so many people - some of whom actually indicate that they are Christians. There really is a lot of confusion even in the church - so much that some people see nothing wrong with having sex before marriage. God help us.

RELATIONSHIP: Is Phone Sex A Sin? (16+ Post)

I know. I know you have a different view on this topic, but hear me out first. OK? I must confess I've once had phone sex. I didn't know it was called 'phone sex' until recently tho. I'm such a jew girl. Or isn't that what they call people like me? Lol.

Phone Sex

You already know I talk about love and relationship every Wednesday. Right? Not as the world will but as Christ will let me. Not out of the blues but within my personal experience and discovery. I dunno how to blog without giving myself away (even when it hurts). I can't help it. Phew. 

Dear Future Hubby, Be Creative o

It's a Monday. I was just "jejerly" minding my job (serious mode things) when a colleague showed me this romantic video. I should say, it's the best I've ever seen. I was like: "oh my God. . . oh my God. . .oh Jesus..." I cried, and to think that I couldn't switch back to my "serious" mode, I cried even more. *sobs*

The video shows how a guy, Levy proposed to his best friend, his love named Tiffany. I find it so emotional. Levy put some heart into his proposal. It's more like a movie than a reality. Could this be real? *tears*