Wednesday, 18 November 2015

RELATIONSHIP: When He says "Be Patient With Me"

(I wrote this article many weeks ago. It took me a while to make up my mind to click the 'publish' button.)

The other day, Mr. Man said to me; "Baby, I need you to be patient with me". I didn't understand. For the first in my life, the word "patient" became strange. "What does he mean by that??" "Huh??"

Be Patient With Love


If you've been following me for a while now, you’ll know that I am an open book. You can literally read me because I share from real life experience - my very own personal stories. That's the only way I feel like I'm connecting my Heart Rays with yours.

OK. I am a woman. Therefore, I will write from a woman's perspective. We are very different from men. As women, we know what we want when we see it but we don't exactly know how best to get what we want. Women are always looking for someone they can connect with, sometimes a bit more and sometimes a bit less. But we don’t use our logical mind to look out for these men.

When a woman decides to be with a man, there always got to be feelings involved. It is always an emotional something-something. A woman doesn’t choose the guy with the nicest face, the most money or the gentlest behavior. She chooses the one she FEELS it for.

However, for men, it takes longer to know what they want because they are not drawn by feelings. They are very logical. And women need to understand that these men need time.

I am actually talking to myself right now.

Reviewing my past relationships I realized that I never really allowed love to develop slowly or naturally. When I develop a little feeling, I would always dive head first (fall in love) and try to jump ahead to the happily-ever-after part. I wasn't interested in playing games, or even allowing feelings to grow organically. I knew what I ultimately desired and I wanted it immediately! As time went on, I decided to change my approach to love shortly after Jerry left.

I certainly have learned so much about love and I'm growing in it. I believe that God always brings exactly what we need when we need it, and I also believe that all of my past relationships have truly prepared me to finally step into a place where I can talk about issues relating to love, dating and relationship. I didn't go through those experiences for nothing. I grew through them. 

Months ago, I met Mr. Man (real name withheld for many good reasons). As our connection grew stronger and our hearts opened wider, we developed a strong likeness for each other. I was already thinking far ahead into a future with him together (why think that far? because I'm a woman. We always want it going that way). So when he asked me to be patient with him, I became scared I was at the verge of pushing him away. Nobody has ever told me that. Be patient? Nah.

I have been dealing with being too overbearing and impatient for a while now. I feel ready to take on love differently this time. I do not want to go over the cycle of relationships again.

Lemme also admit that one of my biggest weakness in relationships is a gift and a curse. I am a hopeless romantic and sometimes that’s my biggest issue. I am such a big ball of love and affection. And when my love is not being reciprocated, I have a high tendency to assume that he doesn't love me (or that he has stopped loving me). I need reassurance! I continued pressing to get a reassurance from him.

A woman loves to be reassured no matter how beautiful or confident she may be. That's what fuels her feelings and keeps her going. 

However, men have their own way of showing affection. They think and act differently from us. They hardly share what they feel even when they feel it. A man has to be sure about what he feels before trusting you enough to make his intentions known. What makes it more difficult for him to trust is the impatient woman. And I personally don't want to be that impatient woman! 

Here is how you can be patient with him:
  • Appreciate his effort
  • Respect his inability to open up right away
  • Be supportive
  • Give him space
  • Don't be a drama queen
  • Don't cry. He's not gone
  • Stop nagging
  • Be a woman to be proud of
  • Remain Positive

(Where are the guys in the house? Johnny, Johnero, Vicky, Kaycee, Ugo and Obiri, please tell us how to be patient. Add to the list.)

God promises to teach me how to be patient. I hope to witness more of the power and beauty in being patient with love. I am still positive about Mr. Man, but I no longer put pressure on him. I now bring myself back to the present and let everything unfold in whatever way it is supposed to. After all, the best things in life are always worth waiting for. :)

When you've been found by a man who meets all of your requirements - He loves God and people; he's intelligent, great sense of humor, handsome, hard working, and all that. That’s only a beginning. Your Mr. Man might possess all the great qualities you've always dreamed, but you could push him away because of your impatience.

Key Point: 
When he is asking you to be patient, the best thing you can do is to wait. Not necessarily forever, but at least for a while. Enjoy the waiting process, and do your best to live in and appreciate the present moment.

This is what I tell myself; " He is a good man. He likes you. . . a lot. Don't give up on him yet. Give him time to grow into liking you more and making you happy. OK?" 

"Love is patient . . . " (1 Cor. 13:4)

Be positive. Be inspired. Be encouraged. 


**** **** ****
Let's discuss: How long should a woman wait for a man to commit/propose?


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
Follow on Twitter: @Amakamedia
Email: amakamedia@yahoo.com
Bloglovin: Amakamedia

Heart Rays . . .giving out  the light.
Blogger Widget