Relationship is not about hugging and kissing and caring about someone who says they love you. Romantic relationship (the way God designed it to be) is being in love with someone who loves you as much as Jesus does. Oh, yeah!
"cute" isn't the goal.
Sometimes you wonder if you are doing something wrong when your relationship doesn't look like a certain couple. You also wonder why you’ve been single for a while.
How are we supposed to know what is the right or the wrong thing? How do we differentiate between the good and the godly thing?
That's where FAITH comes in. By stepping back and allowing God to lead you, teach you and change your old ways of thinking.
I’ve written several articles about 'How To Be The Woman He Wants', 'How To Know He Loves You' or 'How To Know She Like You'. I’ve talked about 'Rocking Singlehood', I’ve talked about 'Signs Of Healthy Relationships', but I thought it would be a good idea to share my new #RelationshipGoals with you.
I grown past dysfunctional relationships. I don’t want a pseudo relationship with love and affection only based on trying to look cute together and taking selfies.
TRUE, LASTING, PURPOSEFUL RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT BASED ON HOW CUTE OR ADORABLE YOU LOOK ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
In that light, these are my top 5 relationship goals. I hope they inspire you.
To Get Married
"Lol. Yes. Forever. Before nko?"
Don't start a relationship for the sake of having one. Date with a purpose, not just to kill time. Entertaining toxic, impure, or even expired relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship, is only doing yourself more harm and allowing someone occupy the position that God has pre-ordained for someone else.
If you are already married, the goal is to stay married forever. No divorce. (As a matter of fact, "divorce" doesn't exist in my world). Once married, stay married.
Get married, raise a family, and grow old together as you fulfil God's purpose . . . that’s a relationship goal!
If you believe that person is the one, then work towards marriage, don’t play games and mess around. God loves it when marriage is more important than looking cute or having fun.
At this point in my life, my goal to get married. I've played enough games already. The last time I dated, all I thought about was marriage but the dude wasn't even thinking towards that. He just wanted to have fun. Poor me.
Both of you must come to an agreement on the marriage deal. Whatever you do, don't forget Dating Is Not Relationship.
To Love But Not Need
"I love you, but I Need Jesus."
It’s beautiful to be in love with someone as long as you are not needing them to fulfill needs that only Jesus should be fulfilling in your life.
For instance, if you enter into a relationship thinking that it will fix all of your problems, (loneliness, depression, emptiness, worry, lack of security, etc.) then you will be depending on them for the rest of your life. You will always expect them to do certain things and be there for you 24/7.
Let Jesus fill you up first before entering into a relationship. Afterwards, you can love and not need each other. Being needy or clingy is not even emotionally healthy.
You should not depend on the other person to feel whole, loved and satisfied.
To Communicate Deeply
"I love how you know what I want to say."
You can't claim to be in a relationship with someone when you only talk to them on Friday nights. You should be able to hold a meaningful conversation.
I am sucker for anyone who can express themselves and talk about anything worthy and interesting. Blow my mind, please!
No matter how close you are, you will always have to work on communication. This goes along with being yourself. Telling them exactly what’s on your mind and how you feel. Don’t be afraid to let out your opinion. If one of you prefers to stay home instead of going on a date, say it. If s/he is doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable or upset in any way (like not calling you often), say it.
I know it’s easier said than done. There will always be disagreements, but communicate and forgive each other quickly. The longer you allow an issue to linger, the more difficult it becomes to move beyond it.
Work on your issues.
To Grow And Expand Ministry
"Let's do this together."
What's the point if you can't be bigger and better together. The Bible says "two are better than one", being with someone should help you grow faster, explore deeper, and expand better.
I personally want my relationship to be compatible in ministry (purpose, dreams and principles) than anything in the world. We should be talking about walking life together in expanding God's kingdom and fulfilling our dreams.
Your relationship should not distract you from God. If it interferes with your relationship with God, there are definitely some changes that need to be made ASAP.
To Study and Pray Together
" . . . in Jesus name, we pray. Amen"
Finally, (what I think is) the most important goal. Your relationship foundation should be deeply rooted on prayer and Bible Study. The person you are in or will be in a relationship with, should be praying (out loud) with and for you. He should pray when you are together and when you are not together.
As much as both of you spend time at the movies, on the phone, etc, you both should spend time on spiritual exercises - Bible study, fast and prayer.
Nothing says “I Love You” better than praying for someone. If you are single, pray and ask for God’s blessing in your relationship. Ask that His will be done. If you are married, pray for a covering of protection over hubby/wifey.
Seen 'War Room' yet? The movie illustrates the power of prayer. How I want future hubby to be the best prayer partner ever!
Prayer strengthens your relationship more than you can know. When both of your hearts are pulling closer to God in unity, your hearts will be tied in the true lasting love that only God gives.
Plus, you both have the same stand on sexual purity.
Thanks for reading. I hope these relationship goals are of great value with you as they are with me.
On Heart Rays, we are striving to live life filled with positivity, inspiration and love.
Which #RealtionshipGoals stood out for you the most and which extra one do you think we should know about? Please share. :)
Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu