This Is How You Break Free From A Narcissistic Relationship

Break up hurts. Rejection on any level is torturing, no matter how you slice it. But getting over a relationship with a Narcissist is a much different kettle of fish.

Breaking Up With A Narcissist 

I have come across the term "narcissism" a couple of times but I have never had any cause to use it. It didn't sound interesting to me. The word only started to make much sense at that point of being brutally honest with myself about a past relationship. For a long time, I lived in the lies that I told myself and it delayed my healing process.

It's been said that "your greatest struggle is your greatest blessing". And relationships are my greatest struggles. 

I've had my share of toxic relationships, or at least what I thought was toxic. Is it fair to say you have too? My guess is that we’ve all endured the company of people who were not shooting for our highest good.

Links To Blog Posts That Will Inspire You

Happy New Week, Sweeties! By this time last month, I was celebrating my 30th birthday milestone with close friends and family. Apparently, I am thirty years, one month and one day old today. Lol.

In case you missed it: shortly before I got to 30, I devoted time and effort to sharing lessons from my 20s. Here is a recap.

Excerpts from TWENTY PIECES

Lesson 1: How To Navigate An Extra Year In The University READ HERE


Lesson 2: Will You Regret The Things You  Do? READ HERE


Lesson 3: My First Clubbing Experience READ HERE

It's My 30th Birthday! Please Say A Prayer For Me

"Lord, teach me how you want me to live. Then I will follow your truth. Give me a heart that doesn't want anything more than to worship you." 

             — Psalm 86:11

Blowing starts here.
Hallelujah.

Thank You Jesus!

Self Interview: Interrogative Questions To Ask Yourself At 25

This is a reply to those questions I asked myself five years ago. They are questions that you are expected to be answering just before you turn thirty. It's time for me.

I'll be 30 in less than 24 hours. Whaaaaaat!!!

Q and A Before 30

Q1: What are you doing? Why are you doing it?

A: Like right now? I am writing. Lol.

I am writing because. . .Wait. Honestly, I thought a lot about why I'm writing. I was wondering whether I should write for my self only (and not share it) but it didn't feel right to me. So I am writing to FULLY live.

Are You Thinking: "Would I Miss Being 20-Something Again?"

It's 3 days to turning 30. Whoop-whoop! Do women get excited about growing old. Lol. I must be weird like that.

Saying Goodbye To My 20s

20s feel like they started yesterday. I have great memories about everything I felt from my 20th birthday up until now. I think it's because I am very intuitive.

I feel things deeply.

I am fully aware of what I feel when I feel it.

Links To Prove That Style Never Fades

Happy Sunday sweethearts of my blogosphere! Trust your weekend was great! I will be hitting the big 3 and 0 in five days. And since the beginning of June, I have been sharing 20 lessons from my 20-somethings

I've shared up to 15 lessons. And this is the 16th. Style never fades.

In my 20s, I discovered something about fashion, it changes and fades. But style? It's eternal and never fades.

MY FAVOURITED STYLE DEFINITION POSTS INCLUDE:

• What's Your Style Statement?
• 12 Reasons To Dress Up (Be a Fashionista)
• Keep Evolving Your Personal Style
• Challenge Your Style Next Month
• How To Cook Your Style Sweet
• Ankara Skirt I've Been Wearing For 10years
• How To Keep Repeating Your Clothes
• How I Shop For Clothes
• Everything I Wore at 27

Thanks for coming over.

See you tomorrow for another blogbuster post!

Stay inspired.

Stay positive.

Stay lovely.

Posted by Nwamaka Onyekachi

Let's connect on Twitter: @Amakamedia

Let's connect on Instagram: @amakamedia

Do Email: amakamedia@yahoo.com

And Bloglovin: Amakamedia

Heart Rays . . . giving light.

Writing In Your Diary Helps You Keep Track Of Your Life

It's a new day! What a great day to be alive! Thanks for joining me on this journey of keeping track of my life. I will be 30 on the 26th day of the coolest month of the year. And I have been sharing my lessons from being a 20-something right at the start of June.

This is the fifteenth lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

God Has A Track Record In My Life

At 15, I got a diary as a birthday gift. Ever since, I have not stopped keeping a diary.

Each year, I got myself a private diary to pour out my emotions, say what I would have said to a best friend, and just write.

At 24, I launched this blog as a birthday gift to myself. I didn't exactly know what I was doing but I knew it was the best thing to do at the time. I wanted to share my feelings and thoughts with the world.

Writing Is Prophetic

I’ve learned over the years that the exact same thing can happen when I write.

Prophetic Writing

I often find that when I sit with a pen and paper, if I anticipate that the Holy Spirit will give me something to write, He does. I receive thought impressions and visual images in my mind and write them as I receive them. It's prophetic.

Sometimes I don't even understand what I had written until days or weeks later.

Prophetic writing isn’t spooky or weird. It’s pretty normal. And with a little practice, it can become a beautiful way to communicate God’s heart to others.

Your Office Is The Best Place To Prove You're A Christian

Hi again! My name is Amaka and I will be hitting thirty on the 26th day of the coolest month of the year. And I am sharing my lessons from being a 20-something just before my journey into 30s begins.

This post is the 13th lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Christian In The Workplace 

I graduated from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka (UNN) at 20.

Between turning 20 and turning 29, I have worked with different individuals and organizations across diverse sectors of the media and communications industry.

Broadcast Media — FUTA Radio;
Telecommunications — MTN;
ICT— PM Global Technology Service Ltd;
Digital Media — SBI Media;
Amongst others.

You gotta believe me when I say it's not easy being a Christian in the workplace. Right?

Right!

A Woman Is The Girl Who Accepts Herself

I only started recognizing myself as a woman in my late 20s. I was very much OK with being just a girl.

I Am Woman 

In my early 20s, I felt the need to be perfect. Always. I wanted to be pretty enough for attention, but not too pretty because pretty girls were called bad names. I wanted to be free enough to have fun with everyone, but not too free to well. . .be one of those bad names. I wanted to be everything to everyone all the time

It was draining.

It took me almost half of a decade to know that I am a pretty woman whether married or not.

Marriage Is Still Not The Goal

Hi sweetheart. Welcome to a brand new day. Hope you are doing great! I will be hitting the big 3 and 0 in few days. And since the beginning of June, I have been sharing 20 lessons from my 20-somethings.

This is the ninth lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Married At 28

At 23, I wanted to be married.

If only I knew my mind had a lot of revamping to do. I needed a consciousness shift.

I was unwinding. Unfolding. Creating. Recreating. Breaking. Opening. Breaking up. Breaking free. Breaking through. It’s a truly wonderful season to be in.

An Open Letter To The Guy Whose Heart I Broke

Is it OK to say 'Good Morning'? Cos I am writing this article at 11:00AM. So yeah, I will be hitting the big three-0 in a few days. And like I told you last week, I will be sharing lessons from my 20s just before my journey into 30s starts.

This is the eighth lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Letter To My Ex

Dear Ex,

I know what it means to be heart broken.

It's like a knife piercing into your heart so slowly.

It's been years since I broke your heart and I still remember how much I felt bad for rejecting you.

I wanted to want you but I couldn't.
Trust me when I say that it was nothing you did. 'It's not you, it's me', so cliche, yet truer words have never been spoken.

I felt guilty every time you called. I felt like a fraud when we were hanging out together. I hated myself for leading you on.

I knew I wasn't ready for the relationship you were asking for. I had many mistakes to make and the experiences that didn't require a committed relationship. I'm sorry.

Heartbreaks Never Last Forever

Hello again! My name is Amaka and I will be 3 and 0 on June 26. I decided to share my lessons from being a 20-something just before my journey into 30s begins.

This post is the seventh of twenty. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Heartbreak Empowers You

My biggest struggle in my 20s wasn't having an extra year at school. No. My greatest weakness was boys, boys and boys!

I was a sucker for love.

I wanted to love and be truly loved.

But I wasn't lucky in love.

I was recovering from one heartbreak after another.

This Is What You Will Learn From Your First Full-time Job

Happy New Week! Trust your weekend was great. I will be 30 on the 26th day of the coolest month of the year. And so I have decided to share my lessons from being a 20-something just before my journey into 30 begins.

This post is the sixth. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

First-time Employee

My first official job was a call centre agent.

Thinking about it now, this role also played out in my second and third jobs. I was always handling calls and managing incoming or outgoing information for each organization/brand.

I will tell you about my other jobs in subsequent posts. However, let's focus on what I learned from my first job.

That You Will Be Scared

Nothing beats the feeling you get when you receive your first employment letter. After applying and going to the interview, getting the job is one of the best feelings in the world. You will be filled with anxiety and excitement all together.

The first time is always potentially terrifying. It can be impossible and daunting, but some people make it possible and learn the ropes. I did.

Admitting Your Mistakes Is A Sign Of Strength

I love Fridays. Yay! We're still on about the amazing fact that I will be hitting thirty on the 26th. And I am sharing my lessons from being a 20-something just before my journey into 30s begins.

This post is the fifth lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Own Your Mistakes

You may be tempted to say, "If only”. If only I did this differently? If only I made a better decision here? If Only. . . If only. . . If only. . .

Don’t go there.

If you made mistakes, learn from them. If you need to apologize, do so. But don’t build a home in the past. The past is a point of reference, not a place of residence.

Once you identify mistakes, come back to the present. Immediately. If not, you will live in your past rather than learn from it. When you live in the past, you’re next door neighbours are regret and bitterness. And they visit everyday.

Don't Do Things You Will Regret Later (3): I Almost Dated A Married Man

Hi sweethearts of my blogosphere! I am sharing lessons from being a 20-something just before my journey into 30s begins. I will be hitting the big three-0 on the 26th day of the coolest month, June.

This post is the fourth lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Dating A Married Man

I’m not necessarily proud of it, but I’ve been with a married man. I was young and totally didn’t understand the consequences of perpetuating such bad behaviour.

Spending the first two decades of my life in school conditioned me to be intense and results-oriented about everything.

You set out to do A, B or C and either you accomplish them or you don’t. If you do, you’re great. If you don’t, you fail.

But in my 20s I learned that life doesn’t actually work that way all the time. Sure, it’s nice to always have goals and have something to work towards, but I’ve found that actually attaining all of those goals is not the point.

Going a half way through might be your most successful outcome.

I'll explain. . .

Don't Do Things You Will Regret Later(2): First Time I Went Clubbing

You will agree with me that hitting the big three-0 is a very big deallllll. And like I told you last week, I will be sharing lessons from being a 20-something just before my journey into 30s begins.

This is the third lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Clubbing Experience 

Fresh out of the University.

I was determined to rock my NYSC year.

After graduation, when the majority of my friends and coursemates were entering the “real” world with “real” jobs lined up, I packed my bags (well, over-packed them) and moved to Akure, Ondo State to serve Nigeria for the year.

It wasn't an unusual thing for corps members who were posted to Akure to go clubbing on Fridays. It was a way of living the "good life".

Don't Do Things You Will Regret Later

I will be hitting the big three-0 on the 26th day of the coolest month. And like I told you last week, I will be sharing lessons from being a 20-something just before my journey into 30s begins.

This is the second lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Do It Anyway 

I was a good girl.

I had always been a good girl.

My parents trained me in the way that I should go. But it was my choice whether to stay in or to depart away from that way.

For two decades, I stayed in the path. I didn't do what I shouldn't be caught doing. I remained obedient to them. Obedient to God. And obedient to the Spirit within.

At 21, I wanted to have a glimpse of what life could be as a bad girl.

Navigating Extra Year In A Nigerian University Humbles You

Hi sweets. Welcome to the coolest month of the year! You don't have to argue. June is the coolest month of the year. Say "kool" and then, say "joon". Got you!

I will be hitting the big three-0 on the 26th day of the coolest month. And like I told you last week, I will be sharing lessons from being a 20-something just before my journey into 30s begins.

This is the first lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Extra Year Experience

At 20, I was to graduate from the university of Nigeria, Nsukka but I failed two final-year courses that kept me back in school.

I still claim to have graduated at 20 whenever I'm asked because technically speaking. . .yeah?

Nearly all my course mates had graduated and were moving on for NYSC when I found myself in the exam hall with a pen and paper writing ACC411 and ACC401. (Or, was it ACC402? I can't even remember. Lol). I am laughing about it right now but it wasn't funny at 21.

DIARY: These 20 Things I Learnt In My 20s Are Blockbusters

Hi people! It's exactly a month to my 30th birthday and I have thinking a lotttttt! In a good way, though. Yes! And I realized that the lessons I learned all through my 20-somethings are blogblusters, actually.

I'm going to be taking you on a very large explosive-bomb journey. Get ready!

20 Lessons Before 30 Begins

We all have secrets.

Secrets that are very deep and some that are not so very intense.

Some secrets are shared when the right time comes while some will never ever see the light of day.

I will be hitting thirty on Friday, 26 June. And the time has come for me to share some of my secrets with you. I will be using the last few days of my 20s to share things you definitely haven't heard me say. And even if you were among those who were affected, you would have never read it from me in a manner such as this.

My secrets, which would be both inspiring and entertaining, will be shared daily from Monday June 1 until the day before my birthday, Thursday June 25.

Here is a sneak peek of my life at 20s: