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Marriage Is Still Not The Goal

Hi sweetheart. Welcome to a brand new day. Hope you are doing great! I will be hitting the big 3 and 0 in few days. And since the beginning of June, I have been sharing 20 lessons from my 20-somethings.

This is the ninth lesson. I hope it inspires you in some way. Happy reading!

Married At 28

I'm Kachi's wife

At 23, I wanted to be married.

If only I knew my mind had a lot of revamping to do. I needed a consciousness shift.

I was unwinding. Unfolding. Creating. Recreating. Breaking. Opening. Breaking up. Breaking free. Breaking through. It’s a truly wonderful season to be in.

At 25, I needed to not be desperate to get married.

I was preparing. Washing. Healing. Working. Building. Branding. Re-branding. Branded. What a roller coaster ride it can be.

At 28, I was ready to be married.

I was waiting. Praying. Hoping. Ready.
It took five years for God to prepare me on the journey of marriage. I had to be pruned. Refined. Changed. Over and over again.

You might be ready in a shorter or longer time. Whatever your case maybe, do not settle.

In the few years I have lived, I have seen women “settle” for a man instead of knowing and standing up for who they are called to be. Most women don’t believe that God has a special man planned for them. Part of a woman’s challenge is to develop herself to be prepared for that man when he comes along.

Kachi, my husband and I had met when I was 17 and built a solid friendship through the years, but he NEVER considered me as a wife material until. . . I became her.

Marriage is not for children.

It's work.

It takes a lot of work and even more communication.

It exposes your flaws and weaknesses to the person that you love most.

It makes you frustrated and overwhelmed all at the same time.

However, it can be the best thing that you have ever encountered in your life.

It is where you feel safest, truest, so very unconditionally loved, supported, comforted, and challenged in such a sweet way.

It is where you can feel vulnerable, yet so much loyalty, and where you get to witness somebody willing to go the extra mile in investing time, energy, work, and fight through the differences to make the union stronger and the love deeper.


I’m happier these days than I’ve been in years. Getting married to Kachi is surely the best thing that happened to me in my 20s.

Me @28. Engaged. 

I had a blast in my 20s and I am looking forward to my 30s.

While this journey is not perfect or easy, it’s one that I want to take with Kachi every single day for the rest of my life.

In my teen age, I met Kachi
In my 20s, I married Kachi 
In my 30s, I'll be fulfilling purpose with Kachi

Marriage is still not the goal, fulfilling God's purpose together is. God help us. Amen.

Thanks for reading. 

* * * *
This is Day 9 of #20Lessons20 just before I turn 30. We'll have Day 10 tomorrow. This is so much fun! I hope you are enjoying these outpour as much as I do. 🙂

Stay inspired.
Stay positive.
Stay lovely.

Written by Nwamaka Onyekachi
Let's connect on Twitter: @Amakamedia
Let's connect on Instagram: @amakamedia
And Bloglovin: Amakamedia

Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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