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This Is How You Break Free From A Narcissistic Relationship

Break up hurts. Rejection on any level is torturing, no matter how you slice it. But getting over a relationship with a Narcissist is a much different kettle of fish.

Breaking Up With A Narcissist 

I have come across the term "narcissism" a couple of times but I have never had any cause to use it. It didn't sound interesting to me. The word only started to make much sense at that point of being brutally honest with myself about a past relationship. For a long time, I lived in the lies that I told myself and it delayed my healing process.

It's been said that "your greatest struggle is your greatest blessing". And relationships are my greatest struggles. 

I've had my share of toxic relationships, or at least what I thought was toxic. Is it fair to say you have too? My guess is that we’ve all endured the company of people who were not shooting for our highest good.

Every relationship feeds a weakness or a strength in you.

When you define relationships for what they really are, you'd know whether you are growing weaker or growing stronger.

As for me, the relationships that were the most parasitic and unhealthy gave me the feeling that I wasn’t taking care of myself spiritually, mentally, or physically like I should.

I was feeling less than myself, like I was compromising my life goals with each second I stayed around those people. Bear in mind, those were both friendships and romantic relationships.

I call these relationships narcissism because my authentic self withered away into someone I didn’t recognize—denying all that was natural for me. Before I knew it, I was weak and feeble, subject to the whim of the person to whom I’d given my power.

Who is a Narcissist?

Generally, a Narcissist is a . . . Uhm, I don't exactly know. This person appears soooo lovely, charismatic, or likeable to so many people, only for you to know they’re low-key mean and nasty in a lot of ways. It just means a person who would intentionally deceive or mislead another person no matter the pressure or damage that will accrue from such an act.
———• • •————
~ An entry in my private diary ~

. . .maybe we are both narcissists feeding on each other. When you stop feeding me, I go all crazy doing rash things (you get angry). When I stop feeding you, you go find another supply (I get jealous).

We drive each other crazy.
We break up.
I move on, you come back. 
And when I let you in, you ignore me right back.

I do crazy things, you look to your next supply.

We drive each other crazy.
We break up.
I move on, you come back. 
And when I let you in, you ignore me right back.

We drive each other crazy.

We break up.

I move on, you come back. 

And when I let you in, you ignore me right back.

We drive each other crazy.

The circle goes on.

Not. Never again.

———• • •————

Like I said earlier, we’ve all endured the company of people who were not shooting for our highest good. As to the details, that depends upon the narcissist and your particular situation.

The narcissist can't handle a breakup as it causes a huge damage on their ego and they could do anything (even kill you).

I promise you that it's not worth showing them dignity in a breakup, just LEAVE.

Read Also: Cut Something Out


Give yourself time to grieve.

It's okay to feel bad for ending the relationship. However, bear in mind that you are not only grieving the end of a relationship - you are grieving the person you thought your partner was.

Once the narcissist's facade falls off, you see the real person—and it can be quite a shock. The narcissist "love-bombed" you when you first met them—they swept you off your feet and pursued you like none other. You didn't see the real person until later into the relationship—and by that time you had already formed an emotional bond, a deep connection.

The healing of the human heart is a long and tender process known as grieving, which comes and goes, sometimes for years.

Remember, if you had stayed with the narcissist longer, you would have had more of an emotional deterioration. Be glad you got out when you did.

Expose your weakness to be strong.

Don't bottle it up. James chapter five verse fifteen says, "Confess your sins to one another and; pray for one another, that you may be healed."

Opening up about your innermost emotional struggles is actually a way of expressing your courage.


Talking about it makes your healing much easier.

I discovered that if I don't try to hide it from others, others see themselves in that sharing, and realize that they might benefit from this same approach.

Talking about it helps you maintain awareness of this narcissistic situation -- I try to keep track of what this anxiety is doing, because if you lose track of it, it goes underground and starts messing with the knobs it shouldn't be touching, like fiddling with your values and goals, making life miserable.

Stop playing the victim.

You will have to start working on your confidence, build faith and restart your life again.

Remind yourself of how toxic this relationship. Do it regularly.


Also, forgive them.

Realize that you can trust God to lead you successfully through any situation. Don’t take challenges personally; remember that they happen to everyone and they’re a normal part of life in this dark world.

Ask God to show you what you can learn from it and to help you move on.

Rather than focusing on the negative (such as by complaining, blaming, or feeling sorry for yourself), focus on the positive by rejoicing in how God is using your experience to make you stronger.

Cheers . . . to becoming strong!

Read Also: Break Free from Unequally Yoked Relationship

Stay inspired.
Stay positive.
Stay safe.

P.s Found this post on my draft list. It's been untouched since 2016. I believe it will make sense to someone who is in such situation.

Written by Nwamaka Onyekachi
Connect on Twitter: @Amakamedia
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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