Wednesday, 16 November 2016

RELATIONSHIP: "You Remember Me Today"

There are only few things more annoying than picking up your phone, dialling a friend's number, and hearing the words "Oh, you remember me today".

Excuse me, what's that?!

When Phone Calls Become Less Frequent


In friendships, we set certain expectations for others. These expectations are sometimes unnecessary.

For example, you expect your friend to call you because you think it's your friend's turn to call you after you called the last time. You may even think it's your friend's turn to recharge your phone because you helped out the last time. 


Sometimes, expectations can lead you to take things too personal.

You perceive less frequent calls as personal slights because you expected him or her to call you last night or last week, but did not.

Unless you and your friend had a specific schedule, it is possible that your friend lessening contact is not personal. If you get angry or confrontational over the issue, you are not a sweetheart

There are some friends that would call you and say something like "Since you refused to call me, I decided to call you"

Lol. Funny but not funny.

If you're worried that someone isn't contacting you, reach out to them. Communicate with them, don't confront them. Don't make your friend feel bad for not calling, it might hurt their feelings.

Being confrontational can hurt your friend's feelings . . . and even destroy the awesome friendship you share.

Let's COMMUNICATE.

When you feel a friendship is becoming one-sided, the most appropriate thing to do is to talk about the issue. But, do so in a calm and respectful manner.

I am a sucker for love, romance, and everything that has to do with relationship. I am the type that screams and jumps when I run into an old friend. I value friendship a whole lot.

I wouldn't want to lose my friends simply because they didn't call me or I didn't call them. 

I want to share four tips with you:
  1. Don't take the issue personally
  2. Talk about it
  3. Be considerate 
  4. Make suggestions

Don't Take It Too Personally. This is me talking to myself now. Lol. I also take rejections personally but I am working on it. Let's learn to de-personalize lessening phone calls and stop assuming things.

Like I mentioned earlier, managing your expectations can help you to stop taking things personally and throwing blames.

Don't be so hard on yourself. When they don't call you, it doesn’t mean that they don’t care at all but it does mean that they don’t care enough and there is a difference.


Talk About It. Proper communication can resolve many issues in our relationships. I can't emphasize this enough. Stop assuming things.

Use "I" statements to express yourself. Use statements that begin with "I feel," after which you can explain the actions that lead to that emotion, and why you feel that way. "I"-statements can lessen blame, as you're putting the focus on your feelings over objective facts.

For example,
Don't say: "I'm always the one calling you. It's not fair that you never take initiative to call me."

That might hurt your friend's feelings and give no room for better communication.

Say: "I feel it's not nice when you never call me because I feel it makes our friendship feel one-sided."

That would make your friend KNOW how you feel and SEE the need to change. 

Then Make Suggestions. Give your friend some specifics on how you would like things to change. If you want your friend to make plans on occasion instead of always waiting for you to do so, say it. If you want your friend to call you every Wednesday, say it!

The Bible says, "ask and it shall be given". Just ask!

Finally, Be considerate. This is slowly becoming my relationship mantra.

I love this definition from Merriem-Webster dictionary 

Consider a variety of possible factors before concluding that your friend has forgotten you.

Has your friend been busy lately?
Is s/he undergoing any changes?
Has work been overwhelming?

We all have our own issues. Therefore, there are many issues that can make a friend call less often.

Life is not all about you.

Be happy when your friends call you. Moreso, be grateful when they do after a period of time.

On Heart Rays, we are striving to live life filled with positivity, inspiration and love. 

Come to think of it, if we had to call our friends EVERY time we think about them, wouldn't the world go crazy? Just saying. 

What do you think? How often do you call your friends? Let's discuss in the comment box. :)

P. S Know someone who knows someone that has a friend who might need these tips?  Please share this post to them. Thank you!


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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Email: amakamedia@yahoo.com
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