Wednesday, 17 August 2016

RELATIONSHIP: Pleasure In Sexual Purity

It's real. Sexual drive does not respect anybody. You can be male or female, black or white, young or rich, single or married, happily married or unhappily married. Nobody is safe!

Striving For Sexual Purity 


Once you have resolved to stay pure before marriage or within marriage, be prepared to fight for your life because you have automatically signed up for a wrestling match. Lol.

The enemy can't stand our desire to strive for sexual purity. He will do everything and anything to distract us. (I pray you find your way back if you have been distracted!)

Being single or married does not change anything. We all have this strong intense desire to have sex. All of us!

God does not "prevent" our ability to sin or "remove" our sexual drive when we resolve to stay pure. He was the one who put it there in the first place. However, He gives us His abounding grace so that we can resist the temptation.

We can resist. Yes.

Are you battling with sexual sin? Are you married yet having the strong desire to have it with someone else? Are you single yet having the strong desire to have it before walking down the aisle? We can apply these THREE techniques in this battle:

Set Your Heart On Things Above

First things first, our victory over sin starts with our CONSCIOUS decision to set our heart on things above. As we focus on our relationship with God, we will be somewhat compelled to strive for purity.

Growth in purity can only be achieved when we focus on God. Really. There is no other way.

Read More: How To Avoid Fornication

We have to "guard your heart" to set our minds on on things that are pure, lovely, honest, of good report, and everything Philippians 4:8 suggests. 

Give No Room To The Flesh

The temptation is everywhere now - TV, magazines, social media - in all places. You cannot read, view or listen to anything without a suggestive issuance about sex. Jeez!

Nonetheless, we are commanded to "FLEE from all youthful lust". Flee as in RUN. Don't just walk away, run as fast as you can.  Take a flight even.

Read More: This Lust Thing

Hey! Don't think you are strong enough to handle it. Lol. Nobody is exempted from this drive. "Let him that think he standeth, take heed lest he falls!" We wouldn't be urged to flee if it was that easy.


So identify the times, sources, places and people that bring this temptation your way. And avoid them like a plague!

Be Accountable To Someone 

Let's not hide our sin. Let's be honest to confess it and ask for help. (There is no point forming "spiritual" on issues like this. Talk about it).

When we struggle with sexual sin, we tend to hide. Remember Adam and Eve after they sinned against God in the garden of Eden. What did they do? The hid from God. You and I tend to do likewise.

When we hide our sin, we will never grow in purity.

This is one reason why I'm grateful for the friendship God brought my way through TWTW, and it is the same reason why God established our local churches too. It is through relationship with Christians that we can receive counsel, support, and encouragement in our struggle against sin.

When you are facing sexual temptation, it is VERY important to pursue mature and godly friendships. Ask people to pray for you, challenge you and hold you accountable to God's Word.


The quest of "purity" is not just about avoiding adultery and fornication. As a matter of fact, to be "pure" means to be holy, chaste, innocent, not contaminated. It has to do with sexual propriety, AVOIDING every form of immorality in thought, word, and action.

You can't claim to be pure even as a virgin when you derive sexual pleasure with your partner from pressing, licking, sucking, kissing, holding, etc. Stay chaste!

You can't claim to be pure being married when you don't derive utmost pleasure from your spouse. You both are "one flesh", and marital sex is the pinnacle of your bonding! Marital sex and fidelity should be a delight! (I can't wait to get married mehn. The things that God has been recently eaching me about sex and romance ehn. Lmho!)

Read More: Sex Is A Form Of Play

I titled this post 'Pleasure In Sexual Purity' for a reason: It is God's desire for us to experience tremendous joy and satisfaction when we express our sexuality within the confines of marriage. The pleasure in sexual purity is receiving the blessings of sex as a GIFT from its Creator (God) and enjoying it for His glory.

God help us as we keep striving for sexual purity!

Are you striving or struggling? How are you fighting the temptation?

(Reference: Feminine Appeal) 

Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu
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