Monday, 12 June 2017

When You Love God But Lust After The Opposite Sex

Are you shocked that I struggle? Please, don't be. For months I fought a losing battle against lust. It wouldn’t be profitable for me to go into detail describing my defeats. Just so you know I’ve been there.

Overwhelmed With Lust


I am one of those women who have found myself struggling with lust. I am not addicted to pornography or masturbation, but I am distracted to lust after handsome (can I say "hot"?), tall and smart men.

I am a Christian, even a “committed” Christian involved in serving the Lord with my gifts. But I was defeated by lust.

Many of us were dominated by the sinful habit of sexual lust at the time we first received salvation. Some who are Christians from pre teen—like me until the last few months—have also allowed it to take root.

We know that on occasions sins fall off like scales and no longer gain control. However, when it comes to sins like lust that are obstinate, we tend to linger on it because it is very easy to cover up.

Unfortuately, there is no standing still on our Christian journey.  We are either moving forward into holiness or falling back into sin. Our journey is not intended to be an aimless ramble, but rather a deliberate directed movement forward.

I took some steps backward.

I fell.

I failed.

Having yielded repeatedly to the sin of lust, I have to recognize that I will never become so strong that lust will just glance off me. 

Whenever I get to thinking that I’ve finally conquered lust once and for all, I get into trouble.

“Let him who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall” 
~ 1 Cor. 10:12


Relationships are risky. Hearts can be broken. Emotions are messy. But God promises that EVERYTHING we go through will work for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). God can and will take all our relationships—even our failed ones—and use them to conform us to the image of His Son (v.29). With this knowledge, I come bold to talk about it publicly so we can have an open, honest and authentic intimate relationship.

Are you overwhelmed with lust?

Be Honest

I was believing a lie: a lie that "if only I feed my mind with godly thoughts". The fact is sin runs in our veins; none of us are immune to sin. None of us can create faith within ourselves.

Righteousness is gift from God.
~ Ephesians 2:8.

I needed to see how wretched I am and to come to God with my empty hands, my weak faith, and my total helplessness.

I needed to understand that it is only with the help of the Holy Spirit can I be totally  free. 


Do you want to win?

Name What You Do

A part of my battle strategy is to call my sin what it is: SIN. It’s not just a “problem” or an "issue". It is DISOBEDIENCE TO GOD. I had to put away all of the rationalizations which I had been using to excuse it. I had to put away the rationalization that God still loves me regardless. I had to put away the mask of hypocrisy and come out clean. After all, God says "confess your sins one to another, pray for each other and you will be set free."

Sin births sin.

I used to think that if I fed my lust a little bit, it would satisfy my appetite so that I would no longer need it, then get over it. But that was like pouring petrol on a fire. A little bit of lust for me is like one drink for an alcoholic. It just makes me crave even more.

Confess and Repent

You need to ask God for forgiveness and then forget about it. After all, God forgets about it! He has a short memory when it comes to our confessed sin.

One repentance never seemed enough though. I needed a large dose of it. 

I struggled. I pleaded with God:

"God, forgive me!"

"Help me!"

"I'm so sorry . . .  "

As sincere as my prayer was, I continued to struggle. I'd find myself giving in and letting my mind go places it shouldn't. The shame and the guilt dug in deeper and deeper.

Yet I loved God.

Do More Than Pray

I prayed for deliverance, but God says, "Amaka, if you love me, you would keep my commandment"

The Bible never says that the way to deal with lust is to pray about it. It commands me to flee. It says that I should purify myself from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God (2 Cor. 7:1). It commands me to walk in the Spirit so that I won’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal. 5:16).

Pray, sure! But do more than pray: OBEY!

God has put the ACTIVE burden for obedience in sexual purity on me.

Somehow we’ve got it twisted, we think to actively deny lust in obedience to the Lord involves the flesh. So we pray for deliverance and go on disobeying as if we can’t help it. But Paul never says, “Let go and let God give you victory over lust.” He actually says, “Run!”

Part of running is guarding myself in advance. I used to play games with this war against lust. No more games. We won’t win by being halfway into it. We’ll have to get into the battle all the way— with God— we can win!

You are not Alone

I knew I wasn't alone. You aren't either. We all struggle. It is like we all know we struggle, yet are afraid to get too vulnerable. I personally think lust, fornication and masturbation are problems too private to talk about—even with my girlfriends.

However, there is no other way to become a mature Christian growing in the character and likeness of Christ. Being a true Christian requires I live out the principles of the Bible. When I win a battle, I'd boast about it. And when I lose, I'd also tell you about it. It is a war. The battle is not over yet.


Run To God

Don't just run away from what you shouldn't do, run to God. By drawing closer to God, it becomes easier to abstain from lustful thinking and actions.

I must be honest and say that I haven't gained total control over lust. I won't deceive myself into believing that I am totally over lust. The temptations are all over the place. But I'm doing much better than I was a few months ago. I'm becoming more like Jesus: God is forming me into the image of His son.

Most importantly, God is changing my heart. And it is all about strengthening my relationship with God.


P.S This entry don tey small for my draft. Na God push me to post am today.

Hope it blessed you.


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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