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2 Truths about Marriage

I love weddings. But these days, I can't help to think that many are confusing a wedding for the marriage. *sighs* There is a huge difference between a wedding and a marriage. Yeah. I'd like to share a bit from the presentation I did on "the concept of marriage" yesterday.

2 Truths about Marriage

Happy Married Life, Uncle :)

It breaks my heart to hear the break-up of marriages all over the world are increasing rapidly. Current studies show that 47% of all marriages end in divorce.  The numbers are not separated from those who go to church and those who don't. I find it a little scary. What in the world is happening???

From generation to generation, the world has attempted to define marriage in diverse dimensions. And all these have brought disappointment, heart break, sorrows, frustration, and unhappiness. I've read a number of books, Christian and non-Christian articles on marriage. I've listened to a number of the radio "experts" - real and supposed. I've heard a sermon or two on marriage. But these truths will forever stand. . .

  • God is the author of marriage

In the beginning, God said, "it is not good that the man should be alone…" (Gen. 2: 18). It is a fact that man is a social being. His life is enhanced and increased with good relationships. God then said, "…I will make an help meet for him." And God created the woman. That is the origin of marriage right there. It is the union of a man and a woman. The union is to make life better, more fun and fulfilling. Marriage is a beautiful thing. I like to imagine God saying, "Oh, see what I have created, it looks so. . .beautiful!"

God is the author, creator and designer of marriage not man, government or Satan. He made the marriage to be a monogamous relationship between one man and one woman. Gen 1:26. Eve (and only Eve), not multiple women, was made for Adam. "They twain shall be one flesh," The play and emphasis is on the numbers; "two" and "one". Marriage is monogamous and God was never pleased with polygamy as practised subsequent to Genesis 2. Regardless of the rules and policies set by the government on sex and marriage today, it doesn't change the standard of God.

  • Marriage is a lifetime covenant

My sweet mum will always say; Marriage is not for children. I couldn't agree more. Marriage is a vow, an oath, a total commitment for life. Marriage is no child's play. One of my best moments at weddings (aside from "you may now kiss your bride". Lol) are the exchange of vows.

The groom is asked, "Will thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Will thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?" He promises, before God and everyone (as he probably looks into the woman's beautiful eyes) , and declares "Yes, I will."

The bride is also asked, "Will thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?" She commits too, "yes, I will."

There is nothing more spiritual than that. We are bound by our words. The spiritual aspect is crucial to the health and success of every marriage. Couples with a strong shared faith do have an advantage over those who don’t. That's why I still don't get the point where a "Christian" would marry one who doesn't believe and confess Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. Like seriously mehn, how do they do that???

HML Joy girl! (That's me on glasses :D)

I blog as a Christian and for Christians (including soon-to-be Christians. Yels). Christians are called to be the light of the world. We are to live out the life of Christ here on earth.

You may check out these posts:

So what is my point? My point is Christians should marry in a godly way. Seek God's guidance and choose His will for your life. His will is perfect for you.

Biko, let those who are married, stay married!!! *pensive* Whatever it is, try to work it out. Plea....se! Don't let the enemy prevail over your marriage. The devil knows the power of a godly marriage. He's fighting to pull the family apart. May God uphold yours in the light of His grace and love.

It is very important that we do not plan to have a fabulous wedding while we fail to pray (as well as plan) to have a God-centered, happy-ending, love-abounding and purposeful marriage.

What if you were unable to have a wedding; no toast, no guests, no dress, no cake. Would you still take the vows of commitment to stay together. . . forever?

Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
Follow on Twitter: @Amakamedia 
Email: amakamedia@yahoo.com

Heart Rays  . . .giving out the light.


Mirander said...

Thank you for posting this--I ran across it and it was exactly what God wanted me to read. Convicted to the core and so blessed to have have seen this article.

Thanks again!

Swese said...

WoW! What a great post!.

Marriage is a life-time commitment. I started saying that in my early 20’s. It’s good to hear it again.

So profound and succinct.

Gabby said...

Nice post. God is definitely the author of marriage. With the way married people are divorcing, i wonder if there is any hope for we the single ones. May God help us all.

Vicky Wendu said...

Good write up nne! Marriage is meant to be betwwen two christians - one male and one female. 2 Corinthians 6:14-18
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship
has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with
darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” Therefore “Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.” “I will be a Father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” I just had to type that out...... Yesterday, we talked about christians marrying muslims in our parish. If you check those that are divorcing, they have are not connected in spirit ans faith. Just mere physical attraction.

Frank said...

Hahahaha.........47% is even small o. It should get to like 92% sef. Wen all they care about is d wedding dress, d wedding cake, d bridal train, d asebi nd so on. Many get married for d wrong reasons I tell u!

Chioma Dike said...

That's a multi-dollar question! Great points you made.

Amakamedia said...

I'm glad you find this post helpful. May God keep guiding your steps to choose rightly. Thank you, Mirander. :)

Amakamedia said...

Yes. Swese. Marriage is forever. Don't stop saying it! :)

Amakamedia said...

Hi Gabby, let not your heart be troubled jhorr. Murriage is a beautiful experience when the man and the woman mutually agree to TOTALLY love, trust and commit till the end of time. There is hope for those who trust in God.

Thanks for visiting. :)

Amakamedia said...

Spot on!!! Thank you vicky!

Amakamedia said...

Mehn, it's funny but not funny. We need to understand that the wedding is NOT the marriage. We gotta think beyond the dress, guests, cake... the altar.

Glad to have you here, Frank :)

Amakamedia said...

You can say that again, Chioma :D

Anonymous said...

Loooooool. "Whatever it is, try to work it out." loooooooooool u hv no idea what marriage means until u get married. There is no perfect marriage! When people are goin thru hell in their marriage. They should stay there and die. Is that what u r saying? Some people leave marriages to same their lives. Divorce is not that evil, it can be a solution. I don't condemn this post because it is well written but you need to undesrtand dat marriage is deeper than it is. GOOD BLESS OUR MARRIAGES!

Jay rule said...

You just spoke my mind! I have grave concern for those Christiians who would encourage someone in an abusive relationship to continue to stay. For what? And where is it stated in the Bible that divorce is a sin? Pastor Amaka Media, take note!

Anonymous said...

For real. Let's call a spade a spade. God's design for marriage was does not include emotional abuse or violence,
or for the woman to be subservient to her husband. In the bible, it is
commanded for each spouse to be a partner to each other. In and out of
marriage, we are to be love and forgive each other and to be the example
of Christ. But when one party start exhibiting demonic charcter, you flee!

Jay rule said...

@ demonic character. Lol! I agree

lindaspears said...

Wow...... Is someone tying to tell us she's getting married soon??? #blushing# Hmmmmm....... is this why you've been talking about divine direction lately? Tell us the truth ooooo wher??? when??? who is the lucky man???

lindaspears said...

That is why you have to marry a truly born again Christian. Not church goers but someone who loves and fears God. Divorce na abomination!

Anonymous said...

It's obvious u re not married.

Amakamedia said...

Lol. It is well. *looks away*

Amakamedia said...

First of all, I'm not a pastor. I'm learning to grow in the knowledge of God. Secondly, it really saddens my heart that divorce seems to be regarded as normal these days. People just walk in and out of marriages. And the most painful part is, they call themselves "Christians". Thirdly, divorce is never a Christian answer to marriage issues.

Dele said...

Nice one. Thumbs up dear

Anonymous said...

So what is the christian answer ma?

KayCee Blunt said...

I love this post! The standard of God will and has never changed! When man sets the standard then anything goes. Sinful men can justify anything as they reject and willfully ignore God's standards as clearly revealed in God's Word. Men and women of our day are busy doing what is right in their own eyes. Lesbianism-gay- homosexuality- bestiality has eaten into the modern day. The one who created marriage approves it not!

Deborah Anyeasi said...

Another great post Amaka :)

Observerer said...

I'm impressed.

munchyberry said...

First of all, the grounds for divorce is adultery! Yes divorce is ugly but I have also learnt of a man who used a hot iron on his wife's body just to teach her a lesson. In that case will u also advise the lady to stay and sort things out with this creature called a husband? But truth be told, a lot of people see these ugly traits before marriage and we keep lying to ourselves that he will change or that we can change him. Are u God? A lot of us allow love cloud our sense of judgement. And I keep screaming it "LOVE IS NOT BLIND!!!"

Chioma Dike said...

Hmmmmmmmmmm your comment got me thinking...... you're right on seeing the signs before marriage.....But you know how some devilish people can pretend through the period of courtship only to reveal their true colour in the marriage. Atimes, i get really scared about this marriage thing sef

Anonymous said...

no be small thing

Amakamedia said...

Yes. Yes. And yes!!! Munchberry, God bless you for this point. I have chosen it to be the featured comment for this post. You nailed it!!!

Amakamedia said...

Lmho! "invitation for a marriage ceremony" I guess that's more of grammar issues. Some people don't understand that the wedding is the ceremony which lasts only for a day or two, while the marriage is the institution which stands till the end of time. Lol. You got me laughing really hard!

Thanks Bro. Fidel. It's so good to have you here. :)

Amakamedia said...

I agree totally! Thank you, Kaycee :)

Amakamedia said...

I appreciate your kind words :)

Udeh said...

I stumbled upon your blog today, and I was ‘wowed’, Keep giving glory to our Father by the good works
that are seen even as you let your light so shine, my sister!

E - rella said...

Strong words coming from some one who is single. Nice. Pls visit rellanaija.blogspot.com

Adebayo Adegbite said...

I'm not pro-divorce but i will not tell someone to work it out when you know death is imminent. Some marriages just were never meant to be.

Adebayo Adegbite said...

Truth be told. Divorce is something we have to live with. The heart of men is increasing in wickedness and darkness daily

Ohis said...

Great post! If only every guy and girl know this... or read this. The divorce rate may probably reduce.

Ogee 'Chiwindow' Austin said...

Wow! I have read a lot
on this topics and even gone through so many comments, though my comment may be
late, but I believe as an online interactive community, it would still count.

Theres a mystery in
marriage that many cannot understand. If marriage is truly the longest
institution in the world, then we should not be in a hurry to provide “quick-fix’
suggestions to this kind of union. That is why wisdom is needed, Just like the
love for cars… Today you see Hummer2 and one is sweating from teeth to feet
just at the sight of it, but after a while hummer3 comes out and the love for
hummer 2 depreciates….such is the case in marriages especially when the purpose
for that union has not been drafted out by the parties involved.

A lot of men and also
women likewise, refuse to wake up to reality of how tasking , challenging,
dynamic and unique marriage can be! Every marriage is peculiar in its own
sense, no two marriages can be the same
so when challenges arise, it would be wise of the parties involved to resolve
to understanding this and tackling it themselves first of all because this
challenges were part of the design to pull the marriage through and build a
more lasting base for it which would become a foundation to raising, nurturing,
mentoring and transforming the life’s of every child that would result from
that union. This would be the basis upon which every argument I would attempt
to raise would be built upon.

In God’s design, He
had an intention for making this union. He didn’t make it out of in-activity,
idleness or confusion in thought and design process. Just like how scientists
or engineers atimes would make several mistakes before they get the result, God
wasn’t in that state when He designed the templates for marriage, He said “
they two shall become one”. The process of becoming in every marriage is what
man cannot determine, because man did not initiate the process!

So if we can agree at
this point and have this basic foundational understanding, then we should know
that divorse was and is never part of Gods intent for marriage. The issue of
divorce came into play as a result of man’s perversion! Either man wanted too
much, or women did. Pervession crept in somehow and the legalism to initiate
the process that allows one party on a particular ground to null the agreement.

A man or woman who doesn’t
change a character or behavior before marriage, wouldn’t change in marriage,
people should wake to this reality. It is only the power of the Holy Spirit
that can effect such change, as man has the capacity to remain with a
particular habit forever.

Love is a mystery. It
is a multifactorial subject and discipline is part of love, without discipline,
love cannot grow to the extent it should. Discipline is part of love and love
has a lot of dimensions which all of us may not be able to fully understand, so
in every TRUE marriage, there is always love so for no reason can the love grow
cold. No matter how we attempt to rationalize this topic, I would say, divorce
was never part of Gods will for marriage no matter how “bad” we may see the
marriage as. Christians that are married, have handed over their personal
opinions, interests, ideologies and sentiments to the Lord to make the best out
of it just to suit their commitment together, and this is what differentiates a
Christian marriage from the rest of the other marriages is how issues are

The Christian marriage
has a success road map and here is it – “in the beginning it was not so”. Finally every marriage has a love triange. Every
triangle should have three angles – in marriage, the love triangle shows three
persons – God, the man, and his wife. So when challenges arise, the other two
angles should learn to link up the upward headed angle (God). Marriage takes
responsibility and requires discipline; even if divorce was to be permitted,
what happens to the children the marriage has given birth to? What becomes of
their future lifes? What happens to the number of times 70 time 7 times a
spouse should have also been offended in a day?

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