Wednesday, 10 May 2017

How To Survive A Friendship Breakup

Maybe you walked away or naturally grew apart, maybe the friendship turned toxic, or maybe a fall-out was involved. No matter the circumstances, a friendship breakup can really take its toll. 

It is harrrrrrd.

6 ways To Survive A Breakup


The most stinging part about losing a friendship is that when it happens, it seems you've lost the person you once were.

Even if the breakup was a long time coming, how do we overcome the immense hurt and loneliness of losing that piece of ourselves?

Here are six ways to help you get closure, heal and move on:

Cry it out

No jokes. Cry. 

Let yourself be sad. Losing a friend is just like any other long-term relationship ending. It hurts. It may feel lonely and embarrassing. Moving on will be an adjustment that takes time, but there is no shame in feeling awful for a little while.

Cry as long as you want. But don't swim in your tears. Make sure you dry them up immediately and get back up.

Talk to other friends

“I know it sounds silly,” I’d concede to my friends. “But I’ve never felt like this. We were not dating but we liked each other.” They never understand it.  "Do you think I should call him today?" "Can I tell him I just want us to talk?" They answered these questions with a nervous shrug.

However, I discovered that the more I talked about the pain, the clearer I see reasons to let go. My friends were encouraging. (Should I mention names? No, not today. But I love you all *kisses*)

Talk to strangers

I met a guy named Samuel during the time of my grief. I was willing to pour out my emotions into anyone who came along my way. I hope you don't have a weird imagination when I say "pour out my emotions". I meant talk. 

Blessed to have people who were willing to listen to my breakup story. It was refreshing.

Talk to God

This should come first, but I choose to make it #3 for a reason. If God was a human, He'd have grown tired of my outpour, my stubbornness and my weaknesses. But He is God. The sweetest friend ever. He is always available, never forsaking me, always loving me each time I disappoint Him.

Image source: Twitter

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 
~ Psalm 34:18 💗

At times like these, you have to depend on God's love. What would you do without it?


Embrace the lesson

I’m still trying to figure that out. Here’s what I know so far: there are (finally!) nights when I’m able to get a few hours of sleep. I’ve started to laugh again. I haven’t cried in a little while. I can now dance in silence.

But most of all, I’m starting to look at our friendship with some perspective.

His “walking away” may have been a lesson I needed to learn. Perhaps everyone needs to experience heartbreak to break their heart open to feel other things. Yes, there is crushing pain, but I’m hopeful that beyond that, there is something else that will brighten my path in some way. I'm at the verge of this discovery.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the hardest part. But it’s also the most rewarding.

Anger is one of the stages of grief, and we all have to move through it to move on. The hardest part of a breakup is forgiveness: forgiving myself for things I did or said along the way. Forgiving him for the same. 

Once we start to understand that our intentions came from a place of love or fear and not of evil intent, forgiveness begins.

Ending a friendship isn’t easy, but often it can be a step in the right direction. By letting go, you free up more time to for healthier, more satisfying friendships and hopefully learn a little more about yourself in the process.

What's the silliest way to get over a breakup? For me, it's telling the world about it. Lol.


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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