Wednesday, 25 November 2015

RELATIONSHIP: Is Phone Sex A Sin? (16+ Post)

I know. I know you have a different view on this topic, but hear me out first. OK? I must confess I've once had phone sex. I didn't know it was called 'phone sex' until recently tho. I'm such a jew girl. Or isn't that what they call people like me? Lol.

Phone Sex


You already know I talk about love and relationship every Wednesday. Right? Not as the world will but as Christ will let me. Not out of the blues but within my personal experience and discovery. I dunno how to blog without giving myself away (even when it hurts). I can't help it. Phew. 

So I'm obviously going to tell you about Mr. Man and I again. *bites lips* Mr. Man and I are both Christians. Christians who strongly believe having sex outside marriage is sin. We do not want to be physically intimate as to commit fornication (Yeah, that's the word -fornication). We want to wait until marriage. We also want to save our first kiss for the big day. We have plans to kiss for as long as the pastor says "hey! Stop kissing! It is OK!" Lol.

Have I told you? The "you may kiss the bride" session of a holy matrimonial service is my favourite highlight. And I am so looking forward to being a bride that will be kissed someday. O ma bad gan! 

Mr. Man and I have not shared a bed yet, but we've had sex over the phone. We have shared what we are going to do if we eventually get married. We have played with our imaginations. We have fantasized.

"Baby, I'm going to touch you right there"
"awww . . . I will bite you"
"I will gently stroke my hand around your neck"
"Oh! I will like that"

It wasn't a physical act but we felt it. We felt it strongly. I was wet. He had a "hard on". It became real.

We didn't start out to have phone sex that Wednesday night. He was even fasting during that period while I had just concluded mine. So you can imagine how spiritually minded we were. Indeed. We simply got talking and talking about everything and all.


We started to tease each other. And before we knew it, we were flirting!

*In our sexiest tones*
"Baby, what are you wearing?"
"I'm wearing a satin night gown"
"is it short?"
"Yea. Wait lemme guess you're wearing a boxers"
"Yes. Can you guess what colour it is?"
"Blue?"
"No. Make another guess."
"Erm . . . is it brown?"
"No baby. It's striped in white, black and green."
"Oh. I almost mentioned black o"
"Hmm . . . How I wish I was there with you right now?"
"Me too. What would you do with me if you were here?"


And we went on and on and on . . . 

We talked dirty. We moaned. It was immoral. And we felt guilty after the experience. We had sinned. We knew it.

Mr. Man and I can be considered as partners who have never had sex. But we have played it on our minds. We have asked for grace not to do it again. We are likely to do it again if we are not careful. But we seriously pray to stay chaste. The devil is a liar mehn! Having phone sex will do more harm than good in the beautiful relationship we are hoping to build. 

See why I believe phone sex is NOT a good thing for those who are working towards having godly relationships . . . 
  • Because phone sex is based on your imagination, you and your partner are setting eachother up for unreasonable expectations. Reality don't always match imagination. You know? 
  • You are preparing yourselves for giving in to temptation. There are going to be times when you both are alone and the temptation for sex before marriage will be harder to resist because your conversations have been sexual.
  • It becomes so easy to slip into sexual conversations. Sex is not all there is in marriage. You should be spending time getting to know each other - personality, character and values. Not to fulfill sexual desires. May God help you and your partner. Amen. 

So what is my point? My point is sexual purity is a treasure to be guarded and valued. It is a reflection of God’s own character. Nowadays, many people have been deceived into thinking that their virginity is worthless, or the #NoSexTillMarriage principle  is something to get rid of. Don't mind them! 

Purity is the new sexy.

Purity is not outdated. Let's strive to be pure in our relationships. Let's stay away from anything that makes us want to want to have sex before marriage, whether physically or mentally. Guard your heart . . . like your life depends on it. Actually it does. 

"But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart"
 ~ Matthew 5:28

So with this few points of mine, I hope I've been able to convince you. Sex, in any form whatsoever, outside the bounds of marriage is sin.

To building beautiful, godly and long-lasting relationships . . . cheers!

Feel free to agree or argue in the comment box below.* whispers in a seductive tone* I'll be waiting for you right there.

(P.S. I wrote this article many weeks ago. It took me a while to make up my mind to click the 'publish' button.)


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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