Become A Wife Before Marriage
I was smiling. My eyes were producing tears. I was cutting onions in the kitchen. It was one of those special evenings I get to have the kitchen all to myself without my mum popping her nose and acting as a monitoring spirit. Lol. She has this nasty habit of supervising me and making "suggestions" about even the size of pot I should use. Lol. I don't blame her at all. It is her kitchen and it is her husband's house.
So I was cooking yam with tomato sauce for the family. For some weird reason, perhaps not so weird, I was happy and proud doing it.
Coupled with the fact that I had a long day at work, I was stuck in an unusual Lagos traffic because it rained very heavily earlier. The roads were all messed up. All I wanted to do was to get home, take my bath, have dinner and go straight to bed. Besides, I was going to wake up at 12 AM to pray. I needed to rest. But alas, my mum was not home. There was no food in the kitchen.
She went to church.
I had to make dinner.
See Other Posts On Marriage:
- 2 Truths About Marriage
- My Mum Shares Her Marriage Recipe
- Pleasure In Sexual Purity
- Sex Is A Form Of Play
At that point of placing the pot of sliced yam on the cooker, I heard a Voice;
"He who finds a wife has found a good thing."
I chuckled, "so in my mind now, I am a wife. Duh!"
In that moment, it hit me. You are going to have to be a wife before you get married. Your husband would have to find you as a WIFE. Wawu.
Here's me asking myself again and other fellow single ladies reading my blog;
ARE YOU A WIFE?
I would like to share some knowledge on how to be a wife before marriage:
1. Know how to cook: Learn how to cook! My mother once told me that a woman that cannot cook is not marriageable! We know that men like to eat. Let’s be serious here. We all need to eat to live. It's fine if your husband can cook but girl, you have to know how to make some fantastic meal happen for your man!
Side note: I low-key want a husband that loves and knows how to cook. I need grace in this area badly.
2. Be complete: Be comfortable with not having a man in this season. Learn to be happy on your own. Be complete in God. Find joy in those things that make you happy. Spend time in your singlehood doing the things that you love to do, especially the things that married women tell you that you won’t have time to do when you get married and then become a mother.
Side note: Your husband has to find you filled with God.
Tip: Rejoice always and be of good cheer. No one wants to marry an empty, sad and lonely person, or do you? I thought as much.
3. Honour yourself: Keep your body and soul pure. Stop defiling your yourself. Guard your heart. Be careful who you spend your time with. Stop going on senseless dates and hanging out with men that you know in your hearts of heart do not meet the mark.
Side note: Singleness and marriage are both processes of sanctification, each meant to refine us in different ways.
4. Be a homemaker: Ladies, in order to be a wife, we must possess the ability to emotionally and physically take care of the house. Learn to set a atmosphere of peace and love. Avoid quarrels when possible. Practise gentleness with others that cross your path.
Tip: That guy in the office that is always trying to bring out the devil in you, practise with him. Practise love, submission, and gentleness with him.
Side note: you are only as holy as your home.
5. Pray ceaselessly: You want to get married and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But your core prayer request should not be about praying to be married, but rather praying for your husband and your home. I will admit, I had never thought of this until I read Stormie Omartian’s book, The Power of a Praying Wife but I’m sure there was some reluctance (being single and all). Not until Frances wrote, 'Prayers For Your Future Husband' that I became more intentional about my prayers.
Side note: As a matter of fact, I'm on a 21-Day Prayer Challenge for my Future husband. This is the 8th day! And I must say this; get 'Prayers For Your Future Husband' by Frances Okoro already!
Tip: The prayers we pray today are like seeds that will be harvested tomorrow. Shouldn't we sow bountifully?
Remember, you won’t be a "finished product" before/after you get married – we are all under construction on this side of heaven.
By the way, everyone enjoyed the food. Only my mum complained that the oil in the sauce was excess. Smh. Thankfully, there was nothing left in the pot the next morning!
What advice would you give that would help me and my single sisters to be the wife that God calls women to be?
Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.
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