DIARY: The Way He Looks At Me

From birth to death and all occasions in between, the eyes will always have it. Eye contact is the strongest form of nonverbal communication, and if your partner constantly does it with you! Oh, my!

Keep Looking, Baby

I've had my share of failed relationships and I believe I'm in a better place now. A place where I can recognize genuine love and intention when I see it. It's in the eyes.

Generally speaking, we are all naturally attracted to faces, especially eyes. The human face is associated with our identity; we are recognized more through our eyes than through any other facial feature. That's why your passport photograph in an identity card is enough proof for the person(s) concerned.

When you meet someone for the first time and you fall in love with them or like them instantly, what do you attribute that likeness to? It's the face! You are actually attracted by the person's face, especially the eyes. The eye is where the attraction begins.

You can't seem to take your eyes off the one you love.

It Takes Courage To Be Vulnerable

Happy New Week! This is something I really need to hear at this time. "Be of good courage, Amaka!" I thought you might also find it helpful.

It Takes Courage

My recently launched book was reviewed by a friend (Chiamaka Uwadoka) who is a qualified lawyer and a Brand and Communications Executive at a reputable oil and gas firm. In her speech, she repeatedly made it clear that the author of 'He Wasn't My Husband' was a brave person. And I didn't believe her because I think I am not the very least brave woman I know.

When she said the author was vulnerable, I totally agreed.
Calling me brave? No, I don't think so.

Perhaps accepting my vulnerability is what she calls bravery.

Vulnerability is possibly an act of bravery because you merge with your authentic self, instead of hiding behind a facade to appease others.

You’ve been hurt. Yes, we all have. But loving from a place of hurt isn’t loving. It’s hiding. And you will never hit the high notes of love you’re searching for if you’re hiding.

Don’t give yourself any other choice. Be fearless. Be vulnerable. Show yourself. Put yourself out there, completely. Eyes closed. Arms open.

STYLE: Yellow Light Tells You To Get Ready To Go/Stop

Hi! Loong time, no Sunday-Style post. But we are back now. Hallelujah!

The Yellow Light

What do you know about traffic lights?

Traffic lights are located on most major road junctions in cities and towns around the world. You see them often, yeah? The lights let us know when it is safe to drive through the intersection and when to walk across the street as well as when to stop and let other drivers, bikers and pedestrians take their turns to continue on their way.

Basically, the red, yellow and green lights tell road users when to stop and when to go.

When My Uncle Died, I didn't Shed A Tear

I can't hold back the tears. It is not fair that your life had to end. I'll always keep you in my heart. Rest in peace, my friend.

Rest in Peace, Gloria Okaiman

Sweet Glo, I got to hear about your demise today. And I still can't believe it.

I sent you a mail earlier this year just to know how you are doing, you didn't respond. I tried to reach you on the phone, but the line was switched off. I didn't think much of it. But you've always been dear to my heart.

Sweet Glo, we never met. As in, I never saw you physically. I never took a selfie with you. I never gave you a hug. I never touched your hand. But we met. Our hearts met.

Yay! I have Birthed My First Book

So. . .yeah! I wrote a book. As if the title of this post didn't tell you enough. I wrote a whole book! Oh my! Everything that has led up to this moment, and everything that’s yet to come has left me completely in awe. I can't believe it!

I Present To You 'He Wasn't My Husband'

Clap. Clap. Clap.

I can't stop thinking about how impossible it is to have my name and face on a book cover. I dreamt of this. Yes, I did! And I am not sure about what to do now because I am too excited.

First, I was scared. I was scared about writing. Who will read it? I had no idea how to write a book. I wasn’t confident that my story would be interesting, or worse, that anyone would read it. Exposure was also a great fear. I kept worrying over what will my mum think? What will my friends say? Thankfully, I overcame that phase.

Relationships That Don't Lead To Marriage Become Lessons

Is it painful to end a relationship? Yes, of course. It’s never easy to break up with someone, especially with the one you have grown quite close to and pictured the future with. But I’m convinced it is even much less painful than spending the rest of your life being miserable in a marriage.

He Was Your Life-Lessons

Image By: Ogamars Creatives

I dated many cute guys. Some of them in my mind and most of them in real life.

They were not all bad guys. In fact, most of them had many good qualities. We genuinely cared about each other and had fun together. But in each relationship, there were things that didn’t feel quite right.

In some relationships, I found myself compromising some of my values to match with that guy’s. In other relationships, I began to think that some of the things I had wanted in a husband were perhaps more wishful thinking than things that could actually be.

Do nice, sensitive, funny, godly men still exist? I would ask myself.

CAREER: Forgive The Boss Who Treated You Wrongly

Ever been treated unfairly by your boss(es)? Same here. I'll tell you all about it.

It's Career-Wednesday!

Forgiving Your Boss

Anyone who has been privileged to have authority over people will agree that it is a difficult task to manage people. Even the admin on a WhatsApp group will admit that it’s difficult to lead people. There are so many things to consider: inspiration, motivation, results, feelings, safety, etc. 

No wonder bosses screw it up so bad. No wonder, they get paid more. Maybe so.

I thought of writing out my pain the moment I was given a suspension letter without a fair hearing at the office. I was so hurt. I needed to pour out somewhere. I drafted a post. And when I read the words I'd written, the emotional spill was too raw. I deleted it. Lol. 

Dear Diary, This Is A Husband Appreciation Entry

I'll be celebrating six months in marriage in 1,2,3,4 days. I thought it'll be fun to appreciate my husband in my diary. I don't do it enough.

To My Husband

I prayed and talked about my Future Husband for a long time. See here, here, there and there. Little did I know that you had existed in my past and were already in my present. If I had known you were the one God had instructed me to do that 21-Day Public Prayer and Fasting for ehn, I probably wouldn't have prayed with such passion and zeal. Lol.

Kachi, you are my answered prayer. You are the man of my dreams. Not just that, you are the man who has slain the dragons in my nightmares. You have exceeded my dreams, brought to life a man my dreams didn’t know existed.

That Moment The Past Starts To Make Sense

You never know exactly when that moment is going to come; the one that finally helps you make sense of things that happened in the past. But it always come.

And when it comes, you'll know.

The Making Sense Movement

If you’ve ever experienced an extremely stressful, sad or disturbing event that left you feeling helpless and emotionally drained, you may have been traumatised.

Ouch.

Trauma is a heavy word. I know right.

Most of us would never use the word trauma when telling our story.

We'd rather associate trauma with natural disaster, disease, war, loss or other extreme acts of violence.

STYLE: Gangster In Action

Yo! Happy Style-Sunday! What's up? What's poppin'? What's goin' on? Picture me saying all that with two fingers up in the air while rocking this look. Lol. We've got a gangster in the building. Yo!

Gangster For Christ

Right. There are a hundred and one negative definitions of who a gangster is, but who says you have to choose any of those? I am particularly thrilled by how Urban dictionary carefully defines it:

A GangstaforChrist is someone who has, and will endure anything to bring light into the darkness, and bring christ (to) the lost.

Look at that! Just look at that!

My!

I know I am a straight up G. I am a woman on the move for God. Nothing is going to get on my way, I mean nothing. Nothing is going to stop me from giving out light. Nothing is going to stop Heart Rays. Nothing!