Wednesday, 12 June 2019

CAREER: Forgive The Boss Who Treated You Wrongly

Ever been treated unfairly by your boss(es)? Same here. I'll tell you all about it.
It's Career-Wednesday!

Forgiving Your Boss


Anyone who has been privileged to have authority over people will agree that it is a difficult task to manage people. Even the admin on a WhatsApp group will admit that it’s difficult to lead people. There are so many things to consider: inspiration, motivation, results, feelings, safety, etc. 

No wonder bosses screw it up so bad. No wonder, they get paid more. Maybe so.

I thought of writing out my pain the moment I was given a suspension letter without a fair hearing at the office. I was so hurt. I needed to pour out somewhere. I drafted a post. And when I read the words I'd written, the emotional spill was too raw. I deleted it. Lol. 

I was thinking; should I take this up as a case and escalate it? Should I just let it go?

I had two options:
  1. To react/respond
  2. To ignore/forgive

I was so hurt!

I was so angry!

One part of me wanted to respond so the issue can be handled differently while another part of me didn't want to go through the hurdles of proving anything.

I took a deep breath.

Within few minutes, I knew what to do. I didn't know when I said:

"I am letting it go. I forgive Mr. Xxxxx. I am letting it go. I will not let this poison my heart. I let it go."

I was stunned at myself. It is not often I find myself in this way —it is so very easy to grow complacent to mercy. I realized forgiveness has become easier for me to do.


Maybe you are thinking right now. I can’t just let that go, it really hurts! Well guess what. . . by holding it inside, you are continuing a cycle of pain that will eventually take root in your heart. Let it go already.

Let's be real. When receiving an unjust poor performance review, an unnecessary query or an unfair treatment, it can stir some emotions that can quickly surface. If care is not taken, you might react with an outburst that might make matters worse. 

The best thing to do is to take a deep breath, then count one to ten so you can process what happened. You can choose to listen to your manager's input and allow yourself a few days before reacting or responding.

But, the good news is that FORGIVENESS IS AN OPTION. It is a choice. That doesn’t mean you have to forget. It doesn’t mean that you become a human dummy. It just means that you let it go. It means that you make a decision to not hold it against your boss. It means that you give up your pride of being right.

Take the Moral High Stand 

Sometimes it’s actually okay to stand on your high horse and stay there. In fact, refusing to match fight for fight can help you sidestep the indignity you’re feeling and avoid boiling in anger. From that vantage point, you may even be able to look at the situation more critically and learn something about your boss, your colleagues, the organization, or even yourself–to understand what’s happened in a more detached way.

When your boss treats you unfairly, choose forgiveness. Just forgive.

It's easier said than done but it is possible. Forgiveness frees you of the weight in your heart. Whitney Houston memorably put it, “It’s not right, but it’s okay.” Forgiveness, at any level, can be a surprisingly powerful way of moving on without carrying a chip on your shoulder.


Here is the truth: You either forgive or you don't forgive. However, not forgiving and holding a grudge will make you feel awful. It uses up energy and makes you feel mad, powerless, imprisoned. Forgiveness in its very nature is empowering, uplifting and beautiful. Choosing forgiveness is choosing the beauty of a peaceful mind. 

Forgiving does not mean that you cannot address the situation with the person who has hurt you (if it is right thing to do, then it can be the best thing for you). To forgive is to free yourself from the pain of holding on and allowing yourself to move on – stronger, better and wiser.

Let’s be real—being treated unfairly at work can be painful, disturbing, and frustrating. But it can also be an opportunity to increase your capacity to forgive.

Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
— Ephesians 4:26‭-‬27 MSG

Sweetie, forgive the boss who treated you wrongly.

Don't stop giving your best.

Don't stop doing your job.

Don't stop becoming a better you.

Imagine the peace you can have in your heart. Imagine the burden that will be lifted the next time you see him/her.

Now I want you to say it: "I forgive (insert name here). I’m letting it go. It’s gone."

********
HWMH, my upcoming book reveals the process of forgiving the men who have wronged you in the past. I shared from the most intimate personal experiences ever. Can't wait for it to be out. Excited much!


Has forgiveness really worked for you?


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
Let's connect on Twitter: @Amakamedia
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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