Monday, 3 June 2019

That Moment The Past Starts To Make Sense

You never know exactly when that moment is going to come; the one that finally helps you make sense of things that happened in the past. But it always come.

And when it comes, you'll know.

The Making Sense Movement


If you’ve ever experienced an extremely stressful, sad or disturbing event that left you feeling helpless and emotionally drained, you may have been traumatised.

Ouch.

Trauma is a heavy word. I know right.

Most of us would never use the word trauma when telling our story.

We'd rather associate trauma with natural disaster, disease, war, loss or other extreme acts of violence.

Yet, a trauma can be defined as:

any significant or prominent negative event or incident that shaped us. It can originate from any impactful experience that made us feel bad, scared, hurt or ashamed. 

By this definition, we have all experienced some degree of trauma in the process of growing up.

If you suffered any sexual, emotional, or physical abuse, you have been traumatised.

Any extraordinary stressful events that shattered your sense of identity, making you feel confused and helpless, is trauma.

READ ALSO: We Are All Sick

We may choose to lie to ourselves that there was no “trauma” in our childhood, in the earlier years. Well, just so you know, how well you enjoy this very moment and embrace your future depends, to a very large degree, on how much you are willing to recognize your traumas, admit to these traumas and make sense out of them.

I recently studied that trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people.

In case you are still lying to yourself, I'll like to help you find out the truth. Your truth. Do a quick self-check on the following symptoms:

Emotional symptoms:
  • Shock, denial, or disbelief
  • Confusion
  • Lack of concentration
  • Anger
  • Irritability, mood swings
  • Anxiety and fear
  • Guilt, shame, self-blame
  • Withdrawing from others
  • Depression
  • Feeling numb

Physical symptoms:
  • Insomnia, sleeplessness
  • nightmares, flashbacks
  • Always tired, exhaustion
  • Easily startled
  • Restlessness
  • Racing heartbeat
  • Constant headaches
  • Weight-loss
  • Etc
When bad things happen to us, it can take a while — months and years — to get over the brokenness, to heal and to be made whole again. Most times we don't even know that our reaction to people or situations are as a result of the trauma that we have suffered.

READ ALSO: Go For A Heart CheckUp

It's time to make sense of the sleepless nights, heartbreaks, rejections, and unrequited crushes.

It's time to make sense of the days we doubted ourselves and doubted love and doubted everything in between.

It's time to make sense of all the tears, sweat and bleeding.

The time has come for you to discover the moment that everything starts to make sense.

Your moment might be when someone says the words — same words you have been hearing for many years, but never took the time to listen to. And suddenly you're actually listening, and everything starts to make sense.

Your moment might be when you meet someone — the person makes all the times when you were defeated, when love was ripped away from you, when people couldn’t and didn’t love you back have meaning. These times won’t even matter anymore. They won’t be a blip on your radar. All of those hard times and bad times and rough times will feel like a distant memory. And your past relationships start to make sense.

That moment your mind will be at ease, your heart will feel like it’s found home, and you’ll finally be able to say what you went through without fear or shame.

Mine came. . .

It was that moment I chose not to wait for the perfect moment. I took the moment, my moment, and made it perfect. I fell in love with my life all over again.

My memories were in front of me — waiting to be touched and felt and given away, ready to be used as an instrument in the healing process. I didn't know until. . . that moment it all started to make sense.

I have written a book (HWMH)  to tell you about my moments. It is currently at the editor's. Once that's done, it will be out for you to read so that you can make sense out of your past too.

Stay inspired.
Stay positive.
Stay love-ly.
Have a great week.


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
Let's connect on Twitter: @Amakamedia
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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