Wednesday, 14 March 2018

How Do You Deal With The Fact That Your Close Friend Is Getting Married Before You?

It's Love-Wednesday! I want to share with you these two things that normally help me and banish whatever jealousy if I had any.

Close Friend Gets Married Before You

Watching all your friends get married while you remain single is like watching all your friends graduate from the university when you never had the chance to go.

This is a part of the journey of life.

Since the beginning of time, there has always been one in a group who does something before everyone else and someone who seems to be “left behind,” and it sure does happen.

Yes, this is my story.

I can really understand where you are coming from because I have watched my friends walk down the aisles with their boo's one after the other. I know how it feels when the other friends are getting married and having children, but you are single. Still.

But it's not a competition.

If I had married my previous boyfriend just so I could be married for the sake of getting married, I'd probably be miserable.

At the last wedding I attended I can’t tell you how many times people asked me, “When are we coming for your own?” They kept haunting me with this question. I never know how to answer the question other than, “God is working on it”. Or, have you got a better response?

READ ALSO: How To Be Single And Happy

Source: Google

Two things have helped me through this phase:

1. I ask myself: How Is Not Being Married Stopping Me From Living Life?

Long before now, whenever I was exposed to the bliss of a married couple, fictional or real, I felt completely miserable. I was left asking, “when will it be my turn?” and, “what is wrong with me that I’m still single?” I felt lonely, insecure, and nearly bitter when I focused on what others had that I didn’t.

Thankfully, God uses a number of things—friends and family, sermons, books, bible, and the voice of His Holy Spirit—to speak the truth into my life and set me free. Do I want to get married? Double yes! But, am I just as happy to remain single? Yes, because I know that God will always be with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me, and He will always give me joy and fulfilment.

My purpose, confidence, and identity is found in Him. Not in marriage.

Because of this, I no longer have to feel that my life begins when a man enters it. I can live with purpose and make a difference NOW because I’m living for the Kingdom of God, not for a man to sweep me off my feet.

If you are single and feel as though you have been "left behind" by your friends, I would encourage you to realise that your life—not just your present, but your future—should be completely centered upon God. You must find contentment in Christ alone.

Only Jesus Can Satisfy You

2. I ask myself: Would I Be Willing To Trade Places With My Friend?

Not just to take on the good parts of her life, like the fact that she is getting married, but all of her life—good AND bad. In my experience, my answer has often been no, so I have realised that everyone has their share of good and bad situations in life and if at the end of the day I prefer my life to my friend's life, then I need to just suck it up and be content.

If you stop comparing your life to someone else you won't be bothered as much.

We all have our own separate journey and each direction has its own timeline and purpose. Although we may be walking the same path for a period of time, they will probably separate because God is doing a specific work in each of us unique from one another. You may be at the verge of a breakthrough.

Well. Well, it's OK to feel jealousy creeping in but you shouldn't let it rule over you. Take charge of your emotions. Keep it in the back and try to conquer it and be happy for your friend because that's what friends do. 

Besides, if the tables were turned, wouldn't you want her to be happy for you? Wouldn't you want her to be by your side as you prepare one of the biggest days of your life? Then, think about it and put that green eyed monster away, possibly for good and go pick out a killer bridesmaids dress!



Posted by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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