Monday, 6 April 2015

How to Enjoy being Single when all your Friends are Getting Married

Lately, everyone seems concerned about my relationship status. “How can someone like you still be single?” Everyone is suddenly a relationship coach and has all the answers. Yes, I am currently single. And I don't in anyway feel sorry for myself.  It's not like I'm even close to 30 yet. "What's your own in my case na?"

I'm prompted to write this piece for a worried single. . . I was once depressed too.

How to Enjoy being Single when all your Friends are Getting Married


Firstly, your feelings are very, very normal. Especially when everyone keeps asking, "Are you in a relationship?" "when are you getting married?" (Sometimes, when I'm tempted to lie. I'd say "Oh, he's doing very well" "we're working on it" lol) And the thing is, the longer you are single, the harder it will be to handle all these questions. As well as the awkward feeling you get when you see all your friends getting married and having children.

Well, I love to share my secrets with you because you are my friend. Here are some ways to make the process easier. . .

  • Pray

Pray for your married friends and those getting married. Don't be doing "jealousy-jealousy" Pray that their marriages will be beautiful and fruitful. Pray for their relationship to be God-focused. Also, pray and ask God to help you understand your role in their future. Ask God to prepare your heart as regards to being able to find, trust, and love someone. There is nothing as thrilling as taking everything to God in prayer. Pour out your heart to the One who loved you first. He cares.

  • Don't assume those getting married are going to live in Fantasy

Marriage and family is hard work - it's not a competition. My aunt always say; "You don't know who their partner is, so don't assume they've found the RIGHT one. It is better to wait for your RIGHT one than to marry to just be married." Erm, that might not make you feel any better but you should know that it is better to be single than to be divorced. Dear, take time to find your love. Don't be in a hurry. Don't let the pressures from family and friends make you settle for less.

  • Do the "Self-Date!"

Aha! I love this part. The point where I have to feel high and alive. I really enjoy my own company. I'm so in-love with myself that I can go the whole day alone. Do you love yourself enough to spend time alone? Take yourself out and pamper yourself. Go shopping. Go to the beach. Relax and get recharged. Don't allow what God is doing in other people's life prevent you from living your own. You should be grateful for what He is currently doing in your life. I love the things I have been able to do and the places I have been because I am single. Being single is an adventure into your inner self. Rock it now or never (with having purity in mind).

The best thing you can do when you’re single is to have some ‘me’ time.

  • Find New Single Friends

You, Biola, and Chioma used to be the best trio until Biola got married, and Chioma followed suit. You feel left behind already. But no, you are not. You are where God has you, and that is NEVER "left behind." You and your married friends are on different levels now. They most likely have other married friends to discuss marriage issues with, and do ‘couples’ things. It is very normal for them to leave you. So go connect with other single friends that you can go out with, relate with and share experiences. You may also attend singles' meetings and conventions. 

  • Do what you love

Just like I really do enjoy speaking activities. It feels heavenly doing what you love. I feel like I'm in a different world when I'm behind the mic. Figure out what you are passionate about and go for it. There is no one to hold you back but yourself. Not sure what you are passionate about? Spend more time alone. It will come to you. That's how to Fall in Love with your Life

Alright, I get it. Your last relationship didn't work out. Maybe they were abusive or too demanding. Maybe for whatever reason, they were not treating you with the respect and decency that you deserve. Whatever the case is, don't blame yourself for the break-up. Don't shut yourself in. Don't fret. It's OK to be vunerable but don't kill yourself. 

See, don’t be afraid to be single. Use the time to develop yourself into becoming the person you want to be.

You. You alone have to decide to be happy at this moment of your life.

Are you single? Let's connect. :)

Are you married? please tell us, which comes first before walking down the aisle - Love or Trust?

Happy Easter Monday!

Written by: Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
Follow on Twitter: @Amakamedia 
Email: amakamedia@gmail.com


Heart Rays  . . .giving out the light.
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