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RELATIONSHIP: Should You Wish Your Ex A Happy Birthday?

It's Love-Wednesday! How are you doing today? Everyone gets one birthday a year, wouldn't it be a really nice opportunity to do a nice thing and foster a good relationship? Just asking.

Wishing Your Ex A Happy Birthday

I can understand the urge to say happy birthday to an ex, especially a serious one who you had experienced at least one birthday with. It's a moral quandary!

If you don't say happy birthday, won't they think you're being petty and are secretly wishing they have an unhappy birthday?

But then again, if you do say happy birthday, they might not respond, or worse, they might respond with a cold "Thanks."

It would have been much easier if there was just an established rule for this awkward situation. :(

I’m almost ashamed to say that I debated for hours about whether or not to send a text or call someone I’ll call an “ex.” I'll spare you the details. But I’ve learned a lesson with this particular one. Phew.

You know that platitude that's like, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?" It works here oh. If you can't say, "Happy birthday," to an ex without wishing you could actually say, "Happy birthday, you broke my heart and I hope your cake tastes like a pile of sand," then don't say anything at all.

My Candid Advice
  • If the breakup was brutal: DON'T WISH.

There’s a reason they are your EX. Let that reason stay as a barrier. You were good friends, but you aren’t now. Just leave it alone - they can have a perfectly happy birthday without hearing from you.

  • If the breakup was mutual: A SIMPLE WISH MIGHT NOT HURT.

We all like to get birthday wishes on our birthday, at least I know I do. :) I think it's fine to send them a text. But if you insist on calling, don't call more than once. You'll appear desperate. 

And, if you get no response, don’t be hurt. Just assume you did a nice thing. Shake it off and continue moving. You can't control their reaction, but at least, you can control how you act.

So I'm asking: do you wish your exes happy birthday? Why? Why not?

Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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