Personal Keynotes From Excellence in Leadership Conference 2019

John Cage said, "We only hear what we listen for" and I totally agree. I attended the Excellent Leadership Conference today to listen to what I needed to hear.

This is me sharing what I heard with you. May something shift inside of you as you read. Amen.

Notes From ELC2019

First of all, I heard about the Excellence in Leadership Conference via one of my favourite WhatsApp groups. The group admin invited us (more like motivated us) to attend ELC2019 as part of our capacity building activities. Who wouldn't want to hear from this line-up of speakers? I just had to. So glad I did!

ELC2019 themed 'Great Leadership' is a two-day conference hosted by Daystar Christian Centre which started today and is to end tomorrow. The speakers slotted for today were; Rev. Sam Adeyemi, Pst. Nike Adeyemi, Dr. Joe Abah and Ali Baba.

Now let me share what I reflectively gleaned from each speaker. . .

What I Wore: Long Ankara Jacket On Straight-Cut Ankara Skirt

Happy Style-Sunday! Today is the last Sunday in October. How has the month been for you? For me, October started slow but it's ending in a rush. So much is happening at the same time. I'm staying thankful.

Here's what I wore to church today.

Ankara Jacket

Ankara bumper jackets, kimono jackets, blazers, just name them. You can’t go wrong with them. And you can rock them with skirts, jeans, shorts/bumshorts, pencil skirts or short skirts. They are valuable pieces to have in your wardrobe.

I have had this piece since 2016. As I write this post, I vividly remember where, how and why I got this piece as well as what happened the first day I  wore it. It's interesting how your clothes can cause you to 'play back' certain past experience and the feeling associated with them.

Overview: He Wasn't My Husband Written By Nwamaka Onyekachi

My book hasn't broken the Internet yet. Until then, we have to keep talking about it. They call it "promotion." 😁

Without shame, I am pleading with those who had read/currently reading the book to write a review on their social media platforms using the hashtag #HeWasntMyHusband. I'd really appreciate it. Or, you can send your reviews to hewasntmyhusband@gmail.com.

Many have walked up to me and say things like: "your book is amazing!" 
"I couldn't put it down until I read the last page!"
"Amaka, I applaud your courage to write this!"
"I learnt so much from your book. I am even taking notes."
"I would have to read it again. There is so much to take in!"
"I can relate so well with your story."

Some have turned these spontaneous moments of sharing their thoughts about the book into a talkshow and it's been so freaking exciting (and frightening) to know that this baby is fulfilling its purpose.

OK. Can you now help me tell someone else to tell someone else about it, pleaseeeeeee?

If you are like my cousin who claims she has no writing talent, then you can copy the press release below (shaded words) to paste on your blog, Facebook/Twitter/IG timelines etc. Thank you so so much!

Dear Diary, I've Been Married For 10 Months! (My Lessons)

My heart is filled with gratitude to God.  Today, October 15 marks ten months of being married. As in, I've been married for one, two, three,. . .,ten months now! Whaaaat!!!

10 Months In Marriage

I got married during one of my favourite times of the year — December. Preferably, Christmas. And my husband and I are in the beginning stages of learning how to live in one flesh.

We don’t pretend to have everything figured out, but to be quite honest, I blush whenever someone ask, "Amaka, how is married life?"

It's been a constant learning experience for me. Marriage is as much a journey of self-discovery as it's as a journey of two people navigating life together. It is also a journey of discovering God's love. My, my!

Every marriage is obviously unique, but I wanted to give you a peek into some things I’m personally learning in this 10 months of marriage.

Driving Little Starts

Weird title, I know. I’m at that point where more people get to ask you whether you can drive. I have friends who can drive, and I’ve definitely heard my closest peeps hinting that I should learn.

So I went to a driving school. 😁

Little Starts

I'm learning how to drive. Like really, d-r-i-v-e. I'm not talking about driving a car with an auto gearbox, but I'm talking about driving a manual car with three pedals: clutch, brake and accelerator (in that order, left to right).

And boy, it's been few weeks on this journey and I'm yet to get a hang of the clutch pedal. It is obviously the thing that makes driving a manual car more difficult than an auto.

The brake and accelerator pedals are pretty simple — press the brake to slow down (the firmer you press it, the quicker you’ll lose speed), while using the accelerator increases the engine’s revs and causes you to speed up (the firmer you press it, the quicker you will speed up). But the clutch? Let's not go into too much detail.

Don't Call This A Style Post

If you've been following my blogging journey for at least over a couple of months, you'd have noticed that I love to show off what-I-wore to church on Sundays, especially if it has to do with Ankara fabric.

Sadly, since I started attending my husband's church it's been difficult getting shots that are blog-worthy for Sunday Style posts.

A Failed Couple Style Post

At our local church, Sunday school starts at 8:00AM. Being Teens' Sunday School teachers, we are expected to be at church earlier than 8:00AM to prepare and get ready for our classes.

Let's say our target time is 7:55AM.

Now look at this,

We currently live 45 minutes drive away from church. So that means we have to get dressed and be out of the house at/before 7:10 AM. However, four times out of five, we are yet to leave the house at 7:20 AM. And neither of us would entertain the thought of taking pictures before we head to church.

"Take what? When we are already late?!"

Since we couldn't take pictures before church, we should be able to take pictures after church, right? But it always doesn't seem to work. By the time church service is over, we are either hungry and tired or heading for another event. Taking pictures isn't our priority at the time.

CAREER: Why I Quit My Job Again

The first time I quit my job I was single, living with my parents and had no plan whatsoever. Do I regret it? Absolutely not! It was one of the most amazing (overwhelming, frustrating, exciting, scary) years of my life.

Then I found a new job. Got married, started building a home and quit my job again. What's up with me?

The Benefit Of Quitting Your Job

It's the last quarter of the year. While some are getting into new jobs and promotions, others are looking forward to finding better ones before the year ends.

And here, someone is talking about quitting her job?! Whaaat?! Who does that?!

In case we have never met, and you are wondering who this woman is and how she has the guts to go about getting a job and quitting, and not only that, but also having the guts to tell you there are benefits of quitting your job. Calm down, please.

Let me tell you something first:

Take The Blame First

Yesterday, I had the privilege of addressing the church about my newly published book, 'He Wasn't My Husband'. And I am not proud to say that I shed tears in front of everyone there!

It's Your Responsibility

I was speaking as the author of 'He Wasn't My Husband' at church — my new church where most people have seen/met/known me for only less than a year, and were relatively still trying to form an opinion about me. Here I was giving them the basis for their opinion of me.

It was a hard thing sharing this path of my journey with them.

I told the church I had dated many guys before I got married.

I told the church that I wanted to be married at 23, so I dated these guys hoping it will lead to marriage.

I told the church that none of the guys I dated became my husband.

I told the church that I was a messed up young woman yet trying to get married at the time.

I told them all these in tears. . .

Well, thank God they didn't laugh at me!

Dear Diary, He Is Free To Bring Any Woman Home

Last month, I visited my husband's village for the first time ever. It was quite an interesting experience. I discovered that I could be a village girl if the need arises. Lol.

The Village Girl

Many women tend to struggle with a bit of impostor syndrome. Sometimes, we feel like a fraud or that we’re not “good enough” in comparison to others. Some of us have worked it out while some of us are still working it out.

Then comes the right guy who will be your ‘supporter.’ He'll walk with you to work it through. He’ll make you feel like anything is possible; and you’ll want to become the best version of yourself to make you and him proud.

When the Spirit breathes on me, I will write an article titled '5 Ways To Bring Out The Best In Your Wife' but for now meet Nwamaka — the bride of Mazi Onyekachi of Amagbor autonomous community in Ihitte, Ezinihitte Mbaise LGA of Imo state, Nigeria 😁

HWMH: Photos From My Very First Book Launch Party

I’m posting this three weeks after having a thrill celebrating the launch of my book with friends and family. It was a lovely, happy weekend and I still feel like I’m flying! 🦋

*WARNING: This post might be VERY looong!

Pictures From My (First) Book Launch Party

Self-Publishing my book has been quite an emotional experience. I put a lot of myself into it, working long hours through the editorial and cover design process, and then promoting it ahead of the launch and in the days after its public presentation. I hadn’t realised just how much energy I was using, but it definitely caught up with me and after the initial buzz of publication wore off, I felt really drained.

The launch just needed to happen. I wasn’t sure how it would work out, but I'm glad it was lovely. Thank God I reached out to a cool photographer to help capture faces, poses and moments. It was motivating to see a few friends, family and more come out to support me.

I’m grateful to everyone who helped make the day happen and those who showed up. I want to share some pictures with you (as well as to save them here). Enjoy!