Wednesday, 30 December 2015

RELATIONSHIP: You Either Leave Them or They Leave You

2015 will be ending in two days. I believe we are all taking stock of how the year has been. Let's review our relationships too. Ask God to help you identify those relationships that are/will not be helpful to your life.

Let Go


God's been reminding me about some of the prayers I prayed in 2015, and how He's answered them. I have been on thanksgiving mode since Sunday. One of the prayers was to be surrounded by people who will lead me towards God and purpose, those who will make me proud to be a "good girl". I see His answers everywhere.

I met so many good people that I've added so much value to my life this year. I know you can say same for yourself. You met people too. Right?

I can't believe I'm making this a blogpost. But what can I do? I am here to LOL. I just hope I make sense.

Where was I? OK. I was saying I've lost count of the number of friends I made. Good ones at that. But I lost some. The ones I had to let go, the ones that had to let me go and the ones that God had to take out of my life by Himself.

It's been dawning on me to appreciate the people that God brings into my life just as much as the people that He takes out.

Let's thank God for those exes!

I have discovered that certain relationships that were good for us in one year might not be helpful to us in another year. God knows about all of them. We have to pray for grace to identify the ones to let go of.

I once read a poem by an unknown author which I totally agree with;
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
We have to know when a season is over so that we don't force people to stay. We need wisdom to know when to let go of a relationship.

Doublecheck on that relationship. Should you leave? Should you discard that phone number? Has it outlived its purpose?

We find it hard to let go of relationships because we believe something can be salvaged. We're reluctant to leave because we believe something can still come out of it. After all, every good relationship requires effort. We start to think that if we try a little harder, or hold on a little longer, everything will work out for the best. In some cases, this may be true. I actually believe that when we put effort into our relationship and try to 'make it work', we will get results. But if we look deeply, we will know when a certain relationship is not for us (anymore or yet).

Don't let them stay. Let them go.

Letting go is really not an easy thing to do. There are things in your life that you want to control. You want to make your own rules. But when God says let go, you have to obey. It is for your own good.

Now lemme share personal lessons. Two people whose leaving caused me pain in 2015 are Jerry and Cynthia . . .

Jerry
Purpose for leaving: He had to go because I was placing him before God



Background: My regular sweethearts obviously know Jerry. (read the love story here) I was madly in love with Jerry. He occupied my thoughts everyday. He was my kind of man. We I thought he was the one.

He left.

Realization: I already shared my realization through the 'I Met God' series. Jerry had to leave because God was jealous. Lol. True. God doesn't want to share my heart with any man. Jerry had to leave because God wanted me to understand that my relationship with Him is the most important. I have no idea about what's going on in Jerry's life right now. We are done. And I'm so grateful he left. I don get sense! 

Key Lesson: 
When we refuse to make God the central focus of our life, He will take our false god completely away from us. Some relationships can inspire you to feverishly serve God and stand firm in holiness, but they can let your devotion to worship slip, or at least, take a back seat. So God will shake you up in some way to bring you back to your senses.

Thank you, Jerry. 

Cynthia
Purpose for leaving: She had to go because God's got a better plan

Cynthia and I (31/12/2014)

Background: (I dunno if Cynthia will ever read this article. But I wish she does. Friends have been asking about us. Remember her? She was here, here and there). I love Cynthia like a sister. We are kinda like a soul twin. We planned to rock this year together. We were working out a "partnership".

She left.

Realization
God wanted Cynthia and I to discover ourselves and grow individually. The purpose for our partnership hasn't been well laid out yet. God doesn't want us to rush into it. I know deep in my heart that we are going to have something to do together in future. But I had to let her go. And I'm so grateful I did. We are happier for it.

Key Lesson
When you truly love someone, you will do anything to help that person to be successful and be happy. Sometimes, you have to say goodbye because you know that they won’t ever reach their full potential unless they are alone and can stand on their own two feet. Maybe your paths will cross again, but in the meantime let them blaze their own path.

I love you, Cynthia.

It takes some responsibility and self-awareness for you to realize that letting a relationship go could be the best choice you have. This is what I learnt when I made this decision.

See, in this life we live, people will come and people will go. Take it like that.

Letting go is the painful part. No doubt. It was never easy, and it didn't get easier as time went by. There were always tears, followed by sadness, and sometimes just a deep feeling of loneliness. I always wanted to run back to them.

Mehn, I learnt so much about letting go and moving on this year. Whether I was the one who broke up with them or they broke up with me doesn't matter. Letting them go and being able to move on is a testimony. No be small thing!

I'm grateful for those who left.
I'm grateful for those who hurt me.
I'm grateful for those who walked away.

The beautiful part is even when you let go, you let God.

You know God didn't promise days without pain . . . but He did promise strength for the day and light for the way. May you have the courage to let go of your past as you make room for your best self to unfold.

Let's continue to strive towards living life filled with positivity, inspiration and love.

P.S  This is officially my last post for the year. See you in 2016. Let go of the things that don't fit anymore. Happy New Year!


Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 
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