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50+ Ways To Treat Yourself With Love

Hi! Valentine is over, isn’t it? How are you feeling today? I mean, how are YOU really feeling? Are you being kind to yourself? Have you compared yourself to someone else today? Are you going on and about the past? I honestly want to know.

As Christians, we have definitely read the commandment,“Love Your Neighbour As Yourself.” Yeah? Great. Today’s article emphasizes‘As Yourself’ because how can you love your neighbour as yourself when you don’t even know how to treat yourself with love?

How To Practise Self-Care Using the 5 Love Languages

How to treat yourself with love

Yep. It’s post Valentine’s Day, let’s treat ourselves to top-notch self-care by diving into the five love languages and how you can practice them on yourself.

The concept was originally created by Gary Chapman in his book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, based on his experience facilitating marriage counselling. Essentially what he found out was that couples expressed love in different ways, and if they weren’t clear on how the other person liked to receive love, chances are there was a disconnect in the relationship.

I completely agree with Gary.

Everyone gives and receives love differently. And I’m not just talking about relationships…I’m talking about loving yourself, too! Your love language can also translate into a self care love language and can guide which activities will be most rewarding for you.


If you don’t know your love language, you can quickly take a quiz to find out what it is, even if you’ve never been in love, romantically speaking.

Related Post: 10 Ways To Fall In Love With Your Life

It’s important to note that you can have more than one love language. In fact, most people would say they resonate with all five. However, try to decide which one(s) speaks to you the most in this season. For me, that’s quality time and receiving gifts. 

In order of my preference, here’s how to treat yourself with love using the 5 love languages. 

If Your Love Language is Quality Time, then in terms of self-care, you want to stay all by yourself without distractions – to learn more about you, your purpose and God. You simply want to spend time on what you enjoy and what gives you energy.
  • Turn off your phone
  • Go on a date with yourself
  • Cook yourself a nice meal
  • Go out for a walk
  • Read
  • Write
  • Journal 
  • Pray
  • Meditate
These are pretty much what I do. Got more ideas? I wouldn’t mind you sharing in the comments. Thank you.

I like to think that Jesus’ love language was quality time because he continued to set himself apart to pray. Committing himself to prayer and supplication and studying God's word was what He needed to feel refreshed again.

If Your Love Language is Receiving Gifts, then you want to give yourself things– big or small– that are meaningful to you in some way.
  • Buy yourself books
  • Buy yourself Ankara (Y’all know I live on that fabric. Lol)
  • Buy yourself flowers, chocolates or anything you fancy. 
  • Enrol in a new class or course 
  • Write a note to your future self and hide it somewhere 
  • Start a DIY project 
  • Take yourself to a restaurant 
  • Invest in your business 
  • Invest in your hobbies 
  • Book an appointment for yourself (hair, nails, skin, massage, etc.) 
  • Buy or make a dress
  • Get yourself a plant 
  • Book a new class (copywriting, working out, etc.) 
Since my sewing machine packed up, I have really missed the joys of DIYs and making clothes for myself. The latest thing I got for myself was a new scarf and I was SO happy that you could see it on my face. :) 

What’s something you can gift yourself that would really warm your heart?

you deserve love

If Your love language is Words Of Affirmation, then you need to focus on what you say about yourself and what you can repeat to yourself to make you feel loved, uplifted and fulfilled.

  • Speak the Word of God over you e.g. I am light, I cannot be hidden, I am bought with a price that’s priceless, I am the head and not the tail, I have eternal life, etc
  • Start keeping a diary
  • Start documenting everything you are grateful for 
  • Write notes for yourself and stick them around your space
  • Use affirmations over again. (My vulnerability is inspiring. I am a masterpiece. I write so well. Etc)
  • Set reminders on your phone with uplifting Bible verses
  • Sing inspiring songs
  • Compliment yourself
The affirmation that’s hyping me up in this season is ‘out of my belly shall flow rivers of living water”, Kabaya! Should I add that blasting in tongues can be a self-care treatment? Hooooooo!!!

If Your Love Language is Physical Touch, then self-care for you would look like taking care of your body, especially your skin, your hair and your nails.
  • Eat healthier meals
  • Drink more water
  • Create a daily skincare routine
  • Exercise
  • Stretch
  • Soak in a hot bath
  • Smell good with perfumes
  • Wear comfortable clothes that make you feel good
  • Give yourself a massage, or book one for yourself 
  • schedule a hair or nail appointment 
  • Give yourself a spa day 
  • Use body oils to moisturize your skin after a shower
  • Massage your scalp
Guys!!! Massage your scalp! I just discovered this. Oh my! This one is sooo soothing. Try it with Shea butter.


If Your Love Language is Acts Of Service, then your self-care treatment looks like doing things for yourself that make your life just a little bit easier…
  • Plan your day or week
  • Organize your space
  • Make your bed every morning
  • Give yourself the day off of work
  • Cook yourself a delicious meal
  • Check something off your to-do list 
  • Do something your future self will thank you for 
  • Declutter your space 
  • Cook yourself a nourishing meal 
  • Book an appointment you’ve been putting off
  • Volunteer 
  • Schedule a self-care day 
  • Get creative
  • Set monthly goals to work towards 
  • Start brainstorming your side business
  • Attend Bible Study
For some reason (probably because I am in my nursing-mother phase, not sure yet), acts of service seems to be topping my love language these days. There is always a lot to be done and checking something off my to-do list gives me a sense of fulfillment. . . even if I have to delegate them. 

Begin to reflect on your own love languages and consider what makes you feel at peace, loved, and well taken care of. Use these lists as inspiration or create your own, and remind yourself regularly to practise them.

Having devoted time to just being with you and your Maker, having given yourself the gift of a thoughtful purchase, having shown yourself physical affection, having told yourself the positive, uplifting, and true words that you needed to hear, and/or having done what you need to get done, it’s most likely that you are more ready than ever to show love in many new, exciting and wonderful ways to your spouse, your children. . . and the world.

Imagine that how you treat yourself is how you treat others. . .and ultimately how you treat God.

P.S My lens are due for change and I am looking out for trendy frames to rock in 2023. It’s a self-care treatment.

How are you treating yourself with love today. . . this week?

Happy Post Valentine’s Day!
Stay positive.
Stay inspired.
Stay in-love.

Related Post: How My Valentine’s Day Went

Written by Nwamaka Onyekachi
Let's connect on Twitter: @Amakamedia
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HeartRays . . . giving light.

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