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24.3.22

Dear Diary, No One Understands What I’m Feeling (Including Me!)

This morning after prayers, I received an update on a certain recent happening that got me getting into my feelings. 

“She is coming tomorrow.”

What I’m Feeling Now


It’s hard to explain. There are probably things in life that are not meant to be described but meant to be felt. And sometimes, you can’t even understand why you are feeling the way you do. Like, you don’t understand your experience in that moment somewhat. 

I just finished crying myself out. Nobody beat me. Lol. But I’m in a challenging season.

I closed my eyes to talk with Him and the tears just flowed and flowed. I believe He understands me. He sees all my struggles, and He knows what’s going on in my mind.

God is listening to the cries of my heart. Even if I can’t understand it, God knows the meaning of every tear that fell in my eyes. He loves me more than I know.

The people around me may sometimes judge me. But it’s okay, they never really know what I truly feel inside. They don’t know the whole story. And there’s no point dwelling on their opinions of me.

God knows what I feel inside.

And this feeling has a purpose. 

God know my feelings and frustrations. He’s seen the crisis in my soul. There’s no hurt that goes unnoticed by God.

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“For we have no superhuman High Priest to whom our weaknesses are unintelligible—he himself has shared fully in all our experience of temptation, except that he never sinned.”
— Hebrews 4:15

He can relate!

The truth is: When someone is going through a similar path, we don’t know what they’re going through. Even if we have experienced similar circumstances as a person on that journey, we don’t process the world the way they do. Why? Because we don’t have the same personal history, biological makeup, or support system. We can only know a tiny portion of what they are really experiencing.

But guess what?!

Jesus knows us FULLY. Not partially, fully! He knows our strengths and weaknesses, our family history, our biological makeup, our worldview. He knows every nook and cranny of us. He knows us better than we know ourselves. And he also knows suffering on an intense, personal level. Jesus’ knowledge of suffering is not abstract or book knowledge. He FELT IT ALL. Jesus was a man of sorrows. He was mocked, betrayed, and humiliated. As he hung on the cross, he was cut off from the Father. Jesus knew excruciating, overwhelming, crushing sorrow.

I may not know what I’m feeling right now but God sure does!

And He cares!

Thank you Jesus!



Written by Nwamaka Onyekachi
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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