RELATIONSHIP: What You Should Know Before You Start

15.9.25

RELATIONSHIP: What You Should Know Before You Start

There are so many interesting things I like to talk about— from love to marriage, career to media, singlehood to motherhood, and so on. But every time I am given an opportunity to speak to youths about love and relationships, I feel like a big fish swimming in her very own water. I literally come alive. Gosh!

Before You Begin a Relationship

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Entering into a relationship is not something you do because you just feel like it. It is not a random event in your life. It actually can be a life-defining or life-altering experience for you. So it is important that you know what you are embarking on. Like the Bible says in Luke 14:28-30, where Jesus uses the analogy of a builder who must first calculate the expenses to ensure they have enough resources to complete a tower, and a king who assesses his strength before engaging in war.

The truth is that you must understand and be prepared for the full commitment and potential sacrifices required to be in a relationship. So, the question you should ask yourself is:

Am I ready to be in a relationship?

Am I?

If your answer is NO, then I am happy for you. You can move on to another blog post. Maybe these ones about Rocking Your Singlehood, Falling in Love With Your Life and Loving Jesus. Hahaha!

If your answer is YES, then I am rooting for you. You are on the right path by coming across this article. Let’s get right into it quickly!

Know What You Don’t Want

There is a popular saying that, before you know what you want, it is important to know what you don’t want. And I completely agree. So, that’s where we should begin this conversation (or, should we call it a journey?).

What is your deal breaker in a relationship? What is it you cannot compromise with? Make a list of what you don’t want in your relationship. Take a deep look at it and you’ll know what you really want in a relationship.

Let me give you an example: you don’t want a guy/lady who isn’t born again; you don’t want the one who will not support your dreams/business; you don’t want to compromise your virginity; you don’t want anyone who drinks alcohol, etc. I wouldn’t want to put ideas in your head, but you know what I mean.

Relationship is Costly

Knowing that relationship would cost you something should get your heart prepared. Relationships are beautiful, but preparation for its cost is vital.

A healthy relationship will cost you your time, your comfort, your pride, and sometimes even your preferences. You’ll need to sacrifice, compromise, and make room for another person in your life. Yes, your life would take a shift whether you acknowledge it or not. And I pray it is a beautiful shift for you, in the name of Jesus, Amen.

He wasn’t my husband book_Nwamaka onyekachi

Like I shared in my book, He Wasn’t My Husband—Making Sense of Those Relationships That Didn’t Lead to Marriage.

Remember this: NOT ALL RELATIONSHIPS LEAD TO MARRIAGE. And that’s okay. Some are lessons, some are stepping stones and some are simply part of your growth.

Starting a relationship is more than butterflies, late-night chats, or those sweet text messages that make your heart skip. It is more than finding the right person. It is much more about BECOMING the right person.

P.S Kachi and I were invited by the final year students of the Christ Ambassadors’ Student Fellowship (CASOR),UNEC to speak on this topic. We couldn’t share all that we wanted to share but I thought it would be cool to share the bits we did with you. *winks*