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20.3.23

Never Ever Write “My Husband Said” In A Professional Email

If you are reading this paragraph right now, just start laughing at me already. Just laugh. I didn’t know how funny the mail sounded until those who heard it started laughing about it. Lmho. 

Avoid Personal Reference In An Official Email


If you have been an ardent follower of Heart Rays, then you’d know that I share from real life experiences. I make it so raw that you can almost feel the emotions pouring onto the page. Yeah, I get that feedback from my readers A LOT. However, today is not going to be so emotional because I just want to get it over with. It’s 23:47 and I need to go to bed because I have to host a virtual brainstorming session with my team tomorrow morning. 

So, here’s the gist: Nigeria just concluded her gubernatorial election which brought a lot of tension in my local area due to tribal conflicts and electoral violence. It felt unsafe going to work today (Monday). My husband vehemently insisted that I stay back home with the girls as well. 

So I sent a mail to the HR stating that “my husband said...”. 

Please, laugh at me.

I don’t even know what I was thinking! 

Don’t be like me. Here are some reasons why you should AVOID using personal references in your professional emails:

1. It undermines your Credibility

When you're communicating in a professional setting, it's essential to maintain impartiality and avoid introducing personal biases or opinions into the conversation. Relying on someone else's opinion or authority in a professional setting suggests that you're not confident in your own knowledge or ability to make decisions. This can undermine your credibility in the workplace.

2. It introduces Unnecessary Biases

Using personal references in your emails can introduce unnecessary biases into the conversation. This can lead to misunderstandings and make it difficult for others to take you seriously. 

Personal opinions are subjective, and they may not always align with the interests of your organization. It's best to avoid introducing personal biases in your communication to ensure that your messages are clear, concise, and objective.

3. It is Unprofessional

In a professional setting, it's important to present yourself in a professional manner. Using personal references in your emails can come across as unprofessional and may be viewed as unbecoming of someone in a leadership role. It's important to maintain a level of professionalism in all your communications to ensure that you're taken seriously and respected by your colleagues.

So what should you do instead?

When communicating in a professional setting, focus on presenting the facts and details of a situation rather than bringing personal relationships or opinions into the conversation. Take ownership of your own ideas and perspectives and present them confidently and clearly in your communications.

There are 100 ways I could have written that email without stating “my husband said”. Laugh again. 

So, guys, never ever say that in your email. It is unprofessional, it undermines your credibility, and introduces unnecessary biases. Be professional and you’ll be viewed as a respected and credible member/leader of your team.

I now understand the importance of maintaining professionalism and credibility in the workplace. That's why I avoided any personal references in this post except the fact that I am going to bed. Good night.

Stay positive.
Stay inspired.
Stay be-you-tiful.


Written by Nwamaka Onyekachi
Let's connect on Twitter: @Amakamedia
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.

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